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This site is classified as E/N – short for everything and nothing – although, to be fair, the classification is by the site owner and is not official. It contains stories, rants, guides, musings, ponderings, and all stops inbetween. It is not a blog. Do not call it a blog.

About Mark

Mark – when he isn’t referring to himself annoyingly in the third person, and, indeed, when he is too – is an enigma. And not the good sort of enigma either. Oh no.


Everything on this site is 100% true and accurate with the exception of this sentence.

This site is not to be taken seriously. By looking at the semi-colon within the square brackets here [;] you agree not to take this site seriously. Furthermore, you agree not to complain about anything. If you find you are unable to agree to these agreements then you agree to leave this site immediately; no link is provided for you to do this. You agree to use any method at your disposal to leave this site including, but not limited to, closing the window, switching off the computer, and leaving the country of your residence.

By catching a glimpse of this ampersand character within parentheses (&) you agree that offense is a subjective matter and that what one person finds offensive may not be offensive to someone else. Subsequently, finding yourself offended by something, you agree that the best and only course of action for you is to leave the site and never come back. You agree that complaining about how offensive something is is a meaningless exercise and will be ignored/exploited as seems fit at the time. You agree that if someone you are responsible for finds something offensive on or through this site then clearly you are not taking your responsibilities seriously and that it’s really all your fault. You agree that any complaints contrary to this agreement are an admission that you should have been chemically neutered at birth and kept in a hole rather than being let out in the world where people have intellects and moralities that may differ from your own very, very, very limited ones.

If you’ve just spotted the ‘c’ in the word effluence then you agree that you understand that all the comments on this site are the thoughts of their respective owners expressed as typed words and not something that the owner of this site has any control over. Yet. You agree that if you have an issue over them you should take the matter up with that person unless that person has a disclaimer about their person somewhat similar to this disclaimer in which case you could try arguing the point or letting the matter go. Racism in comments will not be tolerated and any abuse pointed towards the owner of this site, friends of the owner of this site, fluffy animals, half-eaten biscuits, Super Space Pope Eric VIII, or anything else I think of may be subject to amendment in order to make the commenter look a tit. The commenter will already be a tit, of course, but some other visitors may not instantly realise that and may need assistance in tit-identification. I’m happy to help.

By accessing this site using any of your senses other than taste you acknowledge that this disclaimer may change at any time to cover unforeseen eventualities and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.