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Fake Olympic Games

There has been much talk about the fakery in use at this year’s Olympic Games in Beijing; the Milli Vanilli experience of the little girl miming the song and the fireworks that were a little too perfect for everyone’s tastes. Naturally, people are upset as one of the cornerstones of the modern olympics, as set down in the Olympic rulebook in 1900, is the principle that "no host country may employ such technique or technology during the opening ceremony so as to produce a spectacle that is anything other than 100% wholesome and honest and free of trickery."

Oh no, wait a minute, that’s not there at all and people are being painted as being driven into a frenzied outrage by the manipulative press.

In fact, far from the use of underhanded skullduggery for entertainment purposes being a thoroughly despicable and new idea invented by the Chinese, the necessity to occasionally alter activities during the games has occurred at nearly every recorded Olympics.

1936 Olympics

In 1936 rabid sports fan Adolf Hitler wanted nothing more than to watch some of the world’s finest athletes compete in the company of some of Germany’s most attractive booth babes. His advisors thought differently and photos that were released to the global press were first doctored using crude image fakery techniques to better present a strong German image.

1964 Olympics

The largely forgotten 1964 Tokyo Olympics is largely forgotten largely due to Japanese photographic experts who crudely removed any imagery of Godzilla from the official records of the games in order to not put off potential investors in the upcoming consumer electronics industry.

1968 Olympics

The Mexico games of 1968 are forever tarred with the image of American athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos delivering a "black power" salute but the truth is that neither competitor was politcally motivated and that both were the victims of Mexican jealousy that their northern neighbour’s winning athletes were given free balloons, scarves, hats, and cigarettes while their own went without. Editing in the dark room helped tarnish the American reputation abroad.

Author: Mark

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  1. John Carlos had three arms? Shouldn’t he have been in the Paralympics?

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  2. That’s part of the scarf I think 🙂

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  3. I think that other bit is the end of the scarf hanging down Tommy. But you might only have one eye, in which case I’m not mocking your error.

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  4. Damn Les – you beat me to it!!!!

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  5. I am shocked — just plain shocked! Cutting out Godzilla was particularly heinous, and I think it’s great that our fine, American athletes were given free balloons and other dandy prizes. Such manipulation ought not be tolerated…

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  6. Yeah my bad. I do have 3 eyes though Grazor, and was hoping that perhaps there was another person tri-gifted like me in the world

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  7. Tommy: That’s part of the scarf you’re seeing.

    Grazor: Oh.

    The Hawg: The Godzilla incident was very galling indeed. My grandfather set up a business in Tokyo manufacturing giant egg ornaments in 1965 in the wake of an apparently giant reptile-free games. The result was a disaster and he only escaped with his life thanks to Mothra’s benevolence.

    Tommy: Nobody can see through that eye you’re referring to. Nobody, I tells ya.

    capatinobvious22: Thankyou.

    o.d.: Me grateful.

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  8. Didn’t Godzilla actually compete in the 64 Olympics? I’m pretty sure he won the silver in the front crawl. (Though they should have given him the gold, given what he did to the city afterwards, claiming the race was rigged.) m.

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  9. haha pretty funny. interestingly there’s a doco playing in sydney at the moment called The Salute. it’s about the australian on the dias with the other two guys

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  10. This has been one of the funniest post I have seen in ages. Great!

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  11. In that black power salute, is that helium balloon he had.Then why is it still down

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