My Easter Holiday In Yorkshire

Posted By Child on Apr 12, 2012

This Easter I went on a holiday with my mummy and daddy and we went to Scotland to a place called Yorkshire. My daddy drove the car because my mummy doesn’t drive because my daddy says he doesn’t trust whitey to drive cars. I don’t know what that means. We left very early in the morning so that we could avoid all the other cars on the road but daddy decided to use the London M25 and he complained that that plan fell to shit straight away. His words. After the London M25 daddy drove the car on the M1 and it was full of roadworks because it was a bank holiday. Daddy swore a lot but then he laughed because some other cars didn’t understand what an average speed check was and they were only slowing down for the cameras and then speeding up and daddy said he hoped they got fined a million pounds. We stopped in a motorway service station and had a wee and then mummy and daddy looked at the map to see if there was somewhere interesting to stop and they said that there was a place in a national park nearby which looked interesting so we went to the Peak District. We drove through a place called Ripley and mummy and daddy laughed and kept saying “Ripley!” and “mostly” because they like a film where a little girl like me says “Ripley!” and “mostly” but then daddy said that Ripley was a shit hole. His words. We drove to a place called Matlock Bath but we didn’t see any baths which is silly although we were only there for a few hours. Mummy and daddy laughed and kept saying “Matlock” like Grampa Simpson but they don’t always laugh and say the names of places they travel to. They are weird but they aren’t that weird all the time. Matlock Bath was pretty and had a river in it and cable cars which we did not go on. The place we stayed at in Yorkshire was called Wakefield and mummy and daddy like it there because they like a rugby team who plays there called the Wildcats. Mummy was upset because they used to have a nice light blue kit but now it’s white or dark blue and ugly as shit. Her words. We watched the Wildcats play rugby against the Tigers and the Tigers won the game although the fight in the stands behind us was more even. Daddy was disappointed with the game even though he and mummy always see Wakefield lose when they watch them. Daddy was also disappointed with...