Portsdown Hill
Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mum's death. To mark the occasion my dad, my wife and I, and my brother, his wife, and their two kids arranged to meet on the top of Portsdown Hill overlooking Portsmouth with the intention of setting off some Chinese lanterns at sunset. There are some safety precautions you need to take when using Chinese lanterns: it can't be too windy, you shouldn't stand underneath power cables when releasing them, you should always try to refrain from setting yourself alight, and it's best to pre-warn local UFO forums that there's no need to panic. Three of these steps are in your own hands but the weather is the one thing out of everyone's control (until next year, shareholders in Mark's Meteorological Mayhem Inc. (I swear this time)). Nevertheless, we made every effort to check what the forecast was using a variety of weather apps on phones and it was anticipated that we would be facing either clear, cloudy and clear, overcast, or partially cloudy conditions for the occasion. The wind howled and swept up from the south, the banks of deep, dark clouds rolled up and over the hill, and the rain absolutely pissed it down. So we went to the pub instead. Mum would have liked that. For #MoodyMonday curated by +Philip Daly and +Carole Buckwalter. For #MonochromeMonday curated by +Jerry Johnson, +Charles Lupica, and +Hans Berendsen. Google+: View post on...
What Women Want
Women of advancing years: do you want to live life to the fullest? I can help. I can tell you the secrets of better living in my upcoming seventy five-part series of lectures Be A Better You Than You Ever Thought You Could Be Before You Heard About This Series Of Lectures That You Are Attending (name subject to change). What will be covered? What won't be covered!? Energy! Health! Memory! Sex! Mental Agility! These are the keys to being a better you than you ever thought you could be before you heard about this series of lectures that you will be be attending. Using photographic aids and patented electroshock suppository technology I will make you be a better you than you ever thought you could be before you heard about this series of lectures that you attend from the inside out (quite literally). Not convinced? You will be! Energy: a freshly-made sandwich is better than anything else on the planet. That's a fact. Eat one. Health: you don't want rickets! Get some sunlight on you stat! Memory: what was that thing you touched earlier? Suck your finger and relive the past now! Sex: wear shades and cast approving glances on that tight, tight butt through the window. You know you want to. You've earned the right. Mental Agility: what can that sexpot be looking at that causes his left hand to twitch just so? The possibilities are endless! That's just a taster of what to expect. The Be A Better You Than You Ever Thought You Could Be Before You Heard About This Series Of Lectures That You Are Attending starts this summer so sign up now. Google+: View post on...
Me and a Sheep
It's the early 1970s, it's County Mayo in Ireland, it's me in another stunning ensemble, and it's a sheep. And if you're wondering why I appear to be crying in this shot it's because the sheep venom extraction process you can see here gives off vapours in a similar manner to peeling onions. Submitted for #BlastFromThePast curated by +Cheryl Cooper, +Mark Rodriguez, and +Isabelle Fortin. Google+: View post on...
Pain In The Neck
What are a photographer's three most important pieces of equipment? Ask two photographers and you'll get two different sets of answers but for me it's simple: a pair of trousers, a pea shooter, and the camera itself. Today I used all three while out and about; the trousers stopped me getting arrested again, the pea shooter allowed me to shoot this passerby on the back of the neck, and the camera took the resulting picture of pain and confusion. The fourth most important piece of equipment for me is a Segway which I used to skillfully evade my photographic victim's subsequent attempt to chase me down and attain some form of violent retribution. Google+: View post on...
British Snakes
Adaptive markings are quite common in nature and here in Britain one of our less well-known but more interesting species of snakes is the Uncommon Adder; mildly venomous but fairly docile, its most striking feature is the camouflage it has evolved in its natural environment – the ports and harbours along the British coast – to blend in with ropes. This allows the snake to feed on waterside rodents throughout the year whilst also enjoying the occasional candy floss or ice cream in the summer, all without causing alarm to tourists and locals alike. Interestingly, it can take a trained eye to distinguish actual rope from the ropey serpent and it turns out that I don't have one as it's been brought to my attention this is just rope after all. Google+: View post on...
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