New Theme
I’ve installed a new theme for the site. If you’re reading this on the site and you’ve visited the site before then you possibly can tell already. If you’re reading this via RSS then you won’t be able to tell so I’m including a screenshot now just so you’re not left out. There are still a lot of things to sort out, not least of which is working out some way of getting the Google+ posts that are imported to automatically set the featured image. Still, it’s a start, and as I always think when I change the theme: maybe this will encourage me to post better content more often. I wouldn’t count on...
Chichester Tramp
What majesty there is in being a tramp! Fresh air every day. Watch the seasons change moment by moment! Well, every moment not filled with hunting through bins for discarded food and the butts of cigarettes. See strangers grow up, form relationships, and steadfastly refuse to make eye contact with you! To live a life free from deadlines and the worries of paying bills: is it any wonder that the position of tramp holds so much respect amongst the non-tramp populace? Look! Look at the space the tramp is given! It's not the smell (it's not just the smell, anyway) and it's not because of the random talking or wheezy shouting at passersby (although that probably helps a bit); that's the space that comes from pure, unadulterated respect! Maybe even reverence! Okay, probably not reverence. Could you see yourself living this life? If so then Chichester District Council want to hear from you. A surplus in EU funding has led to the permanent creation of a new role of Fourth Tramp (pay grade Z9) with the intention being to fill this position before the start of the next school term. Applicants must have their own halitosis but all other skills can be learnt on the job and no previous experience is necessary. Chichester District Council is an equal opportunities employer. – For #StreetPics / +StreetPics curated by +Tatiana Parmeeva and +Maria Roco #StreetPhotography #MonochromeWorld +Monochrome World Google+: View post on...
Search Trends Of The Last Week
Hey! Here’s something that makes the site look cared for and attended to! A quick look back at search traffic! Now, I could have done this the easy way by highlighting some of the search terms used to find this site but there are only so many appalling spelling mistakes at which you can marvel. Instead, I thought I’d take a look at the more popular items that people have ended up reading in the last seven days as a result of searches. People want to know about the penis, apparently. About whether it’s ridged on the inside (that probably depends on what you’ve been inserting down the urethra I imagine); about the members of gorillas (zoophiliacs are an important demographic group on this website); how to make it bigger with underwear (I can’t think of a way that doesn’t involve a lot of stretching of skin and the potential for then leading to internal ridging (which might explain the first term)); diagrams of the penis entering the vagina (probably a gay person getting a little straight-curious if I had to hazard a guess). In actual news this week we learnt that Tim Westwood was leaving Radio 1 and 1Xtra after almost three hundred years as the voice of young street culture. This, naturally, led a number of people to check out the legacy of the DJ and discover his invaluable guide to pointing on this site. Hopefully, those distraught at his departure from the radio station can take some solace there. Someone who’s always a steady source of search traffic is Professor Brian Cox and recently a lot of people have ended up seeing the celebrity physicist’s antics when we got drunk in Borneo together. What those people were really after, though, were quotes from Brian, whether or not he wears a wig and/or is gay, details about his wife Gia (herself a regular source of traffic especially relating to her Serbian heritage), and his relationship with alcohol. Then there was also a flurry of search activity that sent people to Brian’s TV appearances but those were mostly from people looking to see whether Jane Cox had ever appeared in Rainbow. Finally, there’s been a darts championship this week and everyone’s (especially Phil Taylor’s) favourite darts player, Phil Taylor, won again. Well done Phil. I say that grudingly but it’s from the heart, grudgingly, so that surely counts? Anyway, people found the darts page. Especially German people for some reason. They’re a weird...
Alien Games
For no reason at all I started up my Spectrum emulator and scrolled down the list of available games to load… There are quite a few games starting with the word “Alien”, I thought. And then: And I’ve not really added anything of much worth to the site in a little while. Followed by: I could quickly play all of them and write about it with screenshots. Ending with: Even though that’s arguably of about as much worth as not doing anything at all. But it keeps me off the streets, so here goes. Alien Adventure Written by Ian Upton and published by Stephen Hartley Software in 1984 this is a text adventure game with an alien world theme. Hence the name. The game starts with you in a deep quarry under an orange sky. It might help to picture the scene if you’ve ever watched Blake’s 7. I have, and every other episode took place in a quarry so this was a great boon to the mental imagery that the game was trying to convey. I started by typing LOOK and immediately was told that I could see a hidden gully. This struck me as nonsense. How could I possibly see something hidden? Surely it would be… whatever the opposite of hidden is. I decided to enter the not-hidden-at-all hidden gully and from there entered a tunnel until my way forward was blocked by rubble. I typed BARNEY RUBBLE and was told “I can’t” by way of response. This also struck me as nonsense although I was probably to blame too at this point. I decided to try the next game, which was… Alien Attack The game got off to an ominous start by instructing me to “Fly pass the aliens” which was clearly nonsense. The game then got much worse by starting. In summary: coloured lines, a thing that moves down the screen, some flashing black lines. Just awful. Alien Attack What’s this? A second game for the Spectrum called Alien Attack? Why yes! Yes it is! It had to be better, didn’t it? The game got off to an ominous start by instructing me to “Save the Earth from being distroyed” which was clearly nonsense. However, miracle of miracles, the game itself wasn’t too bad, featuring waves of well, let’s call them invaders descending down the screen (or from space if you like) while you shoot up the screen trying to stop them reaching the bottom. The graphics were just awful but this was more than made up for by the gameplay which was slightly above mediocre. Alien City Adventure Another adventure game but this time...
Portsmouth City Museum
Took a wander down to the museum today as there was something advertised as "a Saxon Invasion" taking place. It turns out that the reason that England isn't named after the Saxon people is that their invasions – a marquee and a smaller tent showcasing food, jewellery, and weapons – were often on the wrong end of a sturdy defence of kicking the crap out of the Saxons and telling them to get back to Saxonland (I'm not convinced that's where they came from to be honest). Still, there was a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle exhibition which was interesting (author of Sherlock Holmes as you know, a bit of a spiritualist nutball as you may know, played in goal in Portsmouth as everyone around these parts knows) and I even discovered that there's a garden area in the museum, that you can go into it, and that the view of the museum from there is actually rather splendid (as photographed). Very pleasant how you can live in a city all your life, visit a place numerous times, and still be surprised. Google+: View post on...
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