Portsmouth Roller Wenches Roller Derby
So I popped along to Havant on Saturday to watch the Portsmouth Roller Wenches take on the B-team of the Birmingham Blitz Dames. This was my first experience watching roller derby and I wasn’t sure what to expect; in hindsight it might have been an idea to read up on the rules and not rely on my scientific mind (what was I thinking?) to try (and fail) to determine the rules through observation. The basic rules of roller derby – I’ve subsequently surmised – are that five players from each team take to the circuit, four of whom serve as blockers while one has the job of passing through the blocking pack, circling around, then passing through again scoring a point for every person passed this time (and successive ones) through. Blocking can be made with anything from the shoulder to the hip, but not the elbows. Advanced rules include hands-on-hips gestures to end the two-minute jams early (this rule is described as “advanced” because I couldn’t work out why it occurred. There are a lot of advanced things in the world, you won’t be surprised to hear) and people called pivots. I don’t know why they’re called pivots. Other observations: roller derby is a lot of fun for both competitors and spectators and as one of the latter group you can even get involved in audience participation with a circling of the track and a high five with all the players, officials, and helpers at the end of the game (do they do that in full contact golf? No they do not), everybody has a nickname, often alliterative or rhyming and almost always with brutal overtones, and these are very entertaining too (personal favourite: Lady Von Whack ‘n’ Smack), the women wear helmets, elbow pads, hand pads, and knee pads; after seeing some of the falls I would also recommend buttock pads or competing in a Zorb ball, the small venue and lots of bumping and blocking makes for great photo opportunities (I took some photos you won’t be surprised to hear: Wenches versus Blitz Dames) even though the ISO needed to be horribly high and the colour cast from the leisure centre’s lighting was a shade of green/yellow known as Arse, that’s a horrible green/yellow in the latest Dulux catalogue There’s another roller derby event coming up in a few weeks’ time, the last public bout of 2012. As you can tell – using the power of your eyes to read it – it’s taking place in Havant again and this time the Portsmouth Roller Wenches will be taking on the High Rollers of Buckinghamshire (click the...
An Army Of One
An army marches on its stomach. It's a saying accredited to Napoleon Bonaparte who was many things – a great leader, French, an Emperor, a supporter of voting for Pedro – but not, it seems, very good at anatomy. Generally in battle an army marches on its feet; it's faster for one thing. This, certainly, was the way in which Wellington instructed his troops to move when facing Napoleon at Waterloo. The French worm-like manoeuvres were distracting at best. Whilst they did present a smaller target to riflemen the position made them susceptible to being trod on by the stiletto-wearing (don't ask; long story) Dutch-Belgian army, allies alongside Wellington's British-German forces. It was this that did for the brigades under the control of Marshal Ney at La Haye Sainte and the rest of the battle is history. #SaturdayHistoryLesson – #StreetPhotography – #StreetSaturday Google+: View post on...
Witchcraft Triple
My sister-in-law has popped over from the states for a week and bit to visit (we’re returning the favour next month) and decided to bring an early anniversary present with her: candle holders in the form of a skeleton groom and bride. We are Tim Burton fans but that’s not the reason for the present; our wedding anniversary is actually Halloween. Anyway, that got me thinking about spooky things and that led to this theme for this weekend’s trio of music videos; the macabre, the scary, the decidedly witchy. The Rattles – The Witch I only discovered this track a couple of months ago; I can’t stop playing it. Wonderful production and pschedelic overtones. The Cult – The Witch I bought a CD of the Cult’s greatest hits many years ago from a second hand music store. I know it’s not a fascinating anecdote but I thought I’d share anyway. Kate Bush – Waking The Witch Fan-created video for a song not released (well, it was from the Ninth Wave, the second side of the Hounds of Love album (this is back when music had sides you crazy kids these days with your NB3s and your iTracks), so didn’t have much of a chance); it took me a while to get into the Ninth Wave but I love its concept and this is my second favourite track from...
Inspiration
This is a picture – and a story – of a man named Ray; that's him there in the centre of the shot. Ray is a helpful chap and quite bright (there's probably a pun that can be worked in there with his name but I'll skip over it). Ray's the kind of guy who stops for a strange woman when she asks if she can make use of his umbrella so that she can send a message to her friend without risk of electrocution in the rain. That strange woman is not quite as bright as Ray and doesn't realise that death is unlikely from water-soaked lithium ion phone batteries unless they happen to be in the process of falling from a block of flats towards an unprotected skull at the same time. But Ray's bright. And Ray thinks to himself. I'm not wet, he thinks, because I'm sheltered by this umbrella. And this strange but dim woman isn't wet, he continues to ponder, because she's wearing a coat. But, he continues in his head, that phone in her hand – were it not for my helpful nature – would be wet in these conditions. That phone, he concludes, is better off being dry than wet. And then it strikes him! No, not the lithium ion phone battery but, rather, an idea! Inspiration comes upon Ray as he stands there waiting for the strange woman to finish her electronic missive and he leans in towards her to share what he has just thought. "Wait until it stops raining you moron!" shouts Ray. Satisfied, Ray wanders off contemplating a new career as someone who uses his bright, helpful nature to aid people in making common sense decisions by yelling in their faces. In his wake a slightly dim woman stands with mouth agape looking shocked for several seconds until a rivulet of rainwater bridges the gap between the battery and circuit board inside the plastic casing of her phone and sends an arc of electricity into her arms killing her instantly. Google+: View post on...
Fashion Faves – Li Bingbing
Li Bingbing donning some rather lovely fashion here. If, like me, you were expecting to see a panda in clothes then I’m sorry. I was a little disappointed too but in this case it’s not so bad as Chen Man has managed to capture a lovely set of photos of the Chinese actress in various, stylish outfits. Good use of vibrant colour and I like the narrow range of tones with the bright blacks on show. In the photo I’ve selected from the series on Fashion Gone Rogue I also really like the texture of the outfit and its contrast against the soft backdrop. A panda would have been even more awesome...
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