Review: The NFL At Wembley In 2013
And so we come to the end of another International Series of games of American Football at Wembley which means we can write a quick review of the state of play of the sport in England pleasing both people who might one day search just to see what some guy in Portsmouth thought of the whole thing. NFL: No Fun League For reasons best known only to themselves the NFL have decided that going to a game of football should progressively become more and more like an automated chore rather than any kind of enjoyable experience. The plan to turn attendees into an army of Roger Goodell’s Patented Money-Parting Zombies continues at a fair pace. This year’s new ruling included a vast list of what could and could not be taken into the game which ultimately boiled down to: yourself, one small, clear carrier bag with, a small “non-professional” (sigh) camera around your neck. Let’s take these in order: Yourself: I get this one. This one’s quite important. But to be fair, this one’s one that sports fans are going to want to follow so it’s a bit of a no-brainer. One clear bag: I appreciate that you don’t want people turning up with a week’s worth of shopping as that can be a bit of a nightmare when walking up stairs but it’s a bit draconian and it’s based on an American understanding of who will want to attend the game. In America fans will go and watch their team because they happen to live near the place (near in American terms, at least). This isn’t the case for London. A lot of people go to watch the game as part of a day out because we don’t all live in London. There are people there from all over the UK and wide areas of Europe too. And it’s really quite an expensive day out. In previous years we’ve made the NFL games a great experience by taking the train up to London, seeing some of the sights, doing the whole tourist thing, bumping into other American Football fans doing the same thing, then making our way to the game. These new rules ruin most of that as we can now no longer risk buying a small souvenir at some historic place because the bag isn’t clear or some other stupid rule. This rule doesn’t work for a large section of fans at all. Why one clear bag, anyway? Oh, it’s to stop people bringing in bombs and knives and sniper rifles and by limiting the number of bags it prevents clutter disrupting people’s enjoyment in the stadium....
Rob Schneider Or Roy Scheider?
Do you ever find yourself wondering whether it’s Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? I know I do. And that’s why I’ve compiled a helpful guide to whether it’s Rob or Roy. But not Rob Roy. That would be stupid. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who needs a bigger boat? That’s Roy Scheider! Roy is a product of the American capitalist system. He will always need a bigger boat thanks to media conditioning. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who “thinks” there’s a link between vaccines and autism? That’s Rob Schneider! Rob has studied the effects of vaccines on children for several decades, receiving a number of degrees and doctorates along the way. Many of Rob Schneider’s studies and double blind trials have been submitted for peer review and published earning him international plaudits among the scientific community. Despite all this he still thinks there’s a link between vaccines and autism because a friend of someone’s sister who knows someone he once shared a coffee with said that someone she knows thought she heard that a doctor might have said that someone else’s child was on the autistic spectrum and that child had recently not died because it had been vaccinated against smallpox. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who got to snuggle up with a Russian cosmonaut as they performed an aerocapture manoeuvre in Jupiter’s atmosphere? That’s Roy Scheider! Lucky, lucky bastard. Obviously, it wasn’t just Roy and a Russian who got to perform the aerocapture; they simply don’t have the heat shielding for that sort of thing. The pair of them were aboard the Alexei Leonov in the 1984 movie 2010. Having read 2001, 2010, 2061, and 3001 I can only be thankful that thus far neither of the last two have been turned into movies. Good grief, that last one especially was tripe. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who starred in that movie you like but which comic book snobs seem to hate for some reason? That’s Rob Schneider! I know! Rob Schneider appearing in a film I like! What are the odds of that? The film in question is Judge Dredd and whenever I’ve asked people what they think of the film they’ve almost universally hated it. “I didn’t like Stallone.” “It wasn’t very true to the comic book.” “Someone in front of me kept getting up to use the toilet.” Whine, whine, whine. Moan, moan, moan. You’re all wrong. It was a fun movie from the eighties that captured a lot of elements from a lot of different storylines from the...
Crown Princess – Norwegian Fjords Cruise – Southampton and Bergen
Many, many moons ago I went on a cruise for my honeymoon – I took my wife with me as it seemed appropriate to do so – and followed that up with a post on this site giving out cruise tips for first-timers: Your First Princess Cruise. This proved to be a popular post for those people looking for hints about cruising the seas. More importantly, it gave me and my wife a bit of a taste for holidaying aboard large ships. So much so, in fact, that we decided we’d do it again some day. We just did. In the first week of September we took our second cruise, again on board one of the ships run by Princess – the Crown Princess – and this time taking a short little vacation to the Norwegian Fjords. This post forms the first of five posts describing the trip; the posts will be spaced out according to just how long it takes me to go through the photos I took on each of the days (I might have taken quite a few). Southampton The cruise started and ended at Southampton. This was due to Princess’s UK policy of surrounding a lovely holiday with something truly terrible just to make it seem even better. No, of course it isn’t! However, I am from Portsmouth and am obligated by law to mock the city down the coast at every opportunity under penalty of mutilation. Anyway, the cruise started at Southampton and thanks to a wonderful piece of luck with regards to timing not only was our cruise ship leaving that day but so were three others, and preparations were underway for the Southampton boat show too; the result of all this a long delay getting from the car park to the ship. Somewhere in the order of three hours to be precise. Still, we were calm and relaxed because we’d arrived early. Some other people weren’t so calm and relaxed and we can only wonder what the fellow passengers of the woman due to depart on the Ventura had to deal with when she finally got on board her ship. When we boarded the Crown Princess, however, we had a very pleasant surprise almost immediately. We’d paid for an inside cabin – it’s because we’re not millionaires in case you’re wondering – but the reason we went on this cruise was due to an email deal where we could get a free upgrade to ocean view (i.e. a window). I’d actually had a very nice email discussion with one of Princess’s cruise specialists – Rachel Vane – in order to confirm this...
Russia: The Gayest Country On Earth
Hello Western peoples! I am being Rimsky Jobiluv, ambassador for Russia and here to promote this wonderful country in the face of intense criticism recently. This is being a tough job, no? But no. By now you have been hearing that Russia does not like the homosexuals and there are peoples who will be considering a boycott of Russia in the Winter Olympics. But this is silly! Russia loves the homosexuals! Russia is the gayest country on Earth and I am here to tell you how. Red Square You are knowing Red Square because it is in capital city and is very famous throughout the whole world but what about Orange Square? Orange Square is right next to Red Square! And there is Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet Square too! All the colours of the rainbow are in Russia. It is like being in Blackpool. But that isn’t being all! When you come in Moscow then you must enter the Pink Triangle and Brown Circle too. You will like it. Lesbians It is a true fact that Russia invented lesbians. Ladies who like to get inside ladies and inside them are smaller ladies. It is gang bang lesbian! You want souvenir of Russian lesbians? You ask for Matryoshka doll in shop. You will not go to prison because Russia loves lesbian ladies. Bears What is symbol for Russian strength? It is symbol of bear which is also name for hairy men. How can Russia not like homosexuals when Russia loves hairy men? It is crazy thought. When it gets cold in Siberia at night do you want to climb into bed and be warmed by a Russian bear? Yes you do if you want to live. Parades What are gay people liking to do? They are liking to dress nice and take part in a parade. This is what Russian people are liking to do too. Russia and gay people have much in common so it is no wonder that we love gay people so much. You can come to gay friendly Russia and wear a nice uniform and march in our colourful square and you will not be getting beat up. Putin Vladimir Putin is not a homosexual despite all the evidence. But this is not meaning Mister Putin does not like the gay people. For many years Putin has forgotten to wear a shirt. Maybe you have seen this and maybe you have lost your appetite? It is very cold in Russia and you will not forget your shirt if it is an accident so there is only being one reason: to turn women away from...
Not So Gentle Ben
CBS show-pitching office, February, 1965. “Come in and take a seat please, Mister… let’s see… Howard? Is that right?” “Yes. Thank you, thank you.” “Well, why don’t you get right down to it then? This is the CBS show-pitching office so let’s hear your pitch for a show.” “Thank you, thank you. Sorry, I’m very nervous.” “In your own time.” “Okay, my idea is this: it’s a family show…” “What do you mean by that, exactly? A show for the family, or featuring a family?” “Oh, sorry. Yes, er, both actually. Families will love this but it’s based around the adventures of a family.” “It’s not in space, is it? Only we’ve got one we’re launching later this year with a family called the Robinsons, a robot, and an old man with a thing for the youngest kid. It’s going to be called Pederast In Space unless the censors get their way. We’re hoping it will really fuel further interest in space exploration and aid with the formation of something called NAMBLA. I can’t tell you any more than that so keep it under your hat, hush-hush, right?” “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. Er, no, no it’s not in space. But there are some similarities.” “Similarities is good. We’re much more likely to fund a pilot if we can remove the risk of doing anything new and exciting. Go on.” “Er, well, okay, so if you replace the robot with a bear…” “I like it!” “… and space with Florida…” “That could work I suppose.” “… then, well, that’s it. It’s a family show with adventures. Mom, pop, little kid, and bear.” “Hmmm.” “Mostly the little kid and the bear.” “Better!” “It, er, could boost tourism in Florida. And interest in bears.” “Interest in bears is good. Let me write that down. Interest. In. Bears. Lovely. And did you have any idea for potential actors? Anybody in particular you see playing any of these roles?” “Well, I know it’s a bit of a cheek but… my son?” “If he’s cheap then you can be as cheeky as you like. What’s he like?” “I’ve got a picture. Here.” “Thank you, has he had any acting… Good grief! What’s wrong with his face?” “That’s just the way he looks. I’ve written some details about him here.” “Okay, let’s have a… What!? You can’t call a kid that!” “Clint?” “Clint?! Oh! Oh! Yeah, it’s written in all capitals. Now I see. Whew! Yeah, that was crazy for a few seconds there. Oh right, so he has some experience then. Okay, okay. Maybe. Why don’t we move swiftly along then? You’ve got some...
Public Displays Of Affection
It's interesting to see the different ways in which people show affection or react to public displays of affection while on the street. Here we have a couple who are madly in lust with one another and who couldn't care less who sees them. And why should they? Good for them! And there to the right is James who feels a little differently about things. James looks absolutely mortified. But then, James is being followed closely by a small, black, wheeled robot proclaiming its love for James in a shrill, electronic voice. James has probably been tinkering with the robot's emotion circuits and is now paying the price. Oh James, you silly person! #StreetPhotography +StreetPhotography curated by +Maria Roco and +Tatiana Parmeeva Google+: View post on...
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