Rob Schneider Or Roy Scheider?
Do you ever find yourself wondering whether it’s Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? I know I do. And that’s why I’ve compiled a helpful guide to whether it’s Rob or Roy. But not Rob Roy. That would be stupid. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who needs a bigger boat? That’s Roy Scheider! Roy is a product of the American capitalist system. He will always need a bigger boat thanks to media conditioning. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who “thinks” there’s a link between vaccines and autism? That’s Rob Schneider! Rob has studied the effects of vaccines on children for several decades, receiving a number of degrees and doctorates along the way. Many of Rob Schneider’s studies and double blind trials have been submitted for peer review and published earning him international plaudits among the scientific community. Despite all this he still thinks there’s a link between vaccines and autism because a friend of someone’s sister who knows someone he once shared a coffee with said that someone she knows thought she heard that a doctor might have said that someone else’s child was on the autistic spectrum and that child had recently not died because it had been vaccinated against smallpox. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who got to snuggle up with a Russian cosmonaut as they performed an aerocapture manoeuvre in Jupiter’s atmosphere? That’s Roy Scheider! Lucky, lucky bastard. Obviously, it wasn’t just Roy and a Russian who got to perform the aerocapture; they simply don’t have the heat shielding for that sort of thing. The pair of them were aboard the Alexei Leonov in the 1984 movie 2010. Having read 2001, 2010, 2061, and 3001 I can only be thankful that thus far neither of the last two have been turned into movies. Good grief, that last one especially was tripe. Rob Schneider or Roy Scheider? Which is the one who starred in that movie you like but which comic book snobs seem to hate for some reason? That’s Rob Schneider! I know! Rob Schneider appearing in a film I like! What are the odds of that? The film in question is Judge Dredd and whenever I’ve asked people what they think of the film they’ve almost universally hated it. “I didn’t like Stallone.” “It wasn’t very true to the comic book.” “Someone in front of me kept getting up to use the toilet.” Whine, whine, whine. Moan, moan, moan. You’re all wrong. It was a fun movie from the eighties that captured a lot of elements from a lot of different storylines from the...
The Media Beast
I went down to the zoo today. There were many people there. I think a lot of people visit the zoo every day. I stopped by the media beast enclosure. I was not alone. There was quite a crowd. The media beast is a strange beast. It is large and powerful. Its eyes are soulless, dark and flat. I studied the media beast. Other people watched it and wandered off. They looked at me and shrugged. The media beast chewed on news bushes. Sometimes it chewed and swallowed. Sometimes it chewed and chewed and chewed. I saw a news bush sprouting from the earth. It was intricate, interesting, so different. The media beast trampled it flat. They let some more media beasts into the enclosure. They were smaller media beasts. They gathered around the larger one. The large media beast regurgitated a news bush. The smaller beasts fought among themselves to eat it. They ignored a fresh news bush growing in the corner. The zookeeper walked past me. I told him what I’d seen. He asked if I would be back again tomorrow. No, I don’t think...
Product Dimensions
“So, can we go through the file format for the products list now?” “Absolutely. This is the one you’ll want us to send you every night, right?” “Yes. A full refresh file too; not transactional.” “Got it. We can sort out the timing nearer the completion date. I’m guessing it’s all pretty self-explanatory, yes?” “Yes, I think so. Let’s just quickly run down the fields… product ID first…” “And from the size of that field that’s got to be the auto-generated ID rather than the supplier’s code, yes? Of course yes. The supplier’s code won’t be of any use to you. Carry on.” “Yes. Short description next, then full description… unit barcode… quantity in sales unit, sales price in sales unit, VAT… then the shipping information comes up so first off is the product dimensions; height, length, width, depth… packing barcode, …” “Wait a second! Can you go back a bit?” “Sure.” “That bit about product dimensions; can you run through that again?” “Yeah, no problem. Er… product dimensions… So these are all in millimetres and, in order, height, length, width, and depth. Then it’s the packing…” “No, stop again. Height, length, width. And depth?” “Yes.” “That’s four dimensions.” “Height, length, width, and depth. Yes, four. Why?” “Aren’t width and depth the same thing?” “Er… no, I don’t think so. Some products will have a width but some others will have a depth.” “Ri-i-i-ght. But… a product can’t have both though.” “Yes, we want to allow for it.” “You want to allow for the packing of four-dimensional products.” “We don’t really want to have to revisit this design later. This will save us in the long run.” “But you can’t have four-dimensional products.” “We want to allow for it in the future though. We’re hoping this will really take off.” “And that someone invents a method of shipping products in hypercubes?” “Sorry?” “Never mind. Why don’t we carry on for now and we can send through any concerns via email after the meeting? After we’ve all had a think through to see if anything’s missing. Or shouldn’t be there.” “Okay. Where were we? Packing barcode?” Based on an actual meeting with...
Street Photography of Marius Vieth
Another discovery through Google+, this time being the street photography of Düsseldorf-based Marius Vieth. It’s great to find a photographer like Marius whose work has such a high percentage of “just the right moment” shots. Marius also demonstrates a great awareness of light and shadow and has a fantastic eye for composition. Post-processing also follows the “just right” mantra. Great work. More of the street photography shots by Marius can be found on his Google+ page: Marius...
Filtered Fjord
I know, I know… I haven't posted anything in ages. I have an excuse. I took just under one billion photos on my recent Norwegian cruise and you know how it is when you have just under one billion photos to look through and say to yourself: "That's okay… exposure tweak… that's okay… sharpen that a smidge… that's not that great but I'll keep it… that's a variation on the previous three shots but I don't want to delete it… that's okay… that's bloody awful… that's okay…" Yeah, so it's all taking a while. Anyway, this morning I've been going through the last of my shots around the Geirangerfjorden and it was on this part of the trip that I started playing around with a set of filters that I'd bought especially. As someone who typically shoots street-style the need to work with graduated ND and coloured filters is pretty rare (and in my case completely new) so there were quite a few "oh dear, that's just horrendous" moments. Still, there were some that I thought worked pretty funkily and here's one from late evening leaving Geiranger, shot from our cabin balcony on board the Crown Princess. Google+: View post on...
Crown Princess – Norwegian Fjords Cruise – Southampton and Bergen
Many, many moons ago I went on a cruise for my honeymoon – I took my wife with me as it seemed appropriate to do so – and followed that up with a post on this site giving out cruise tips for first-timers: Your First Princess Cruise. This proved to be a popular post for those people looking for hints about cruising the seas. More importantly, it gave me and my wife a bit of a taste for holidaying aboard large ships. So much so, in fact, that we decided we’d do it again some day. We just did. In the first week of September we took our second cruise, again on board one of the ships run by Princess – the Crown Princess – and this time taking a short little vacation to the Norwegian Fjords. This post forms the first of five posts describing the trip; the posts will be spaced out according to just how long it takes me to go through the photos I took on each of the days (I might have taken quite a few). Southampton The cruise started and ended at Southampton. This was due to Princess’s UK policy of surrounding a lovely holiday with something truly terrible just to make it seem even better. No, of course it isn’t! However, I am from Portsmouth and am obligated by law to mock the city down the coast at every opportunity under penalty of mutilation. Anyway, the cruise started at Southampton and thanks to a wonderful piece of luck with regards to timing not only was our cruise ship leaving that day but so were three others, and preparations were underway for the Southampton boat show too; the result of all this a long delay getting from the car park to the ship. Somewhere in the order of three hours to be precise. Still, we were calm and relaxed because we’d arrived early. Some other people weren’t so calm and relaxed and we can only wonder what the fellow passengers of the woman due to depart on the Ventura had to deal with when she finally got on board her ship. When we boarded the Crown Princess, however, we had a very pleasant surprise almost immediately. We’d paid for an inside cabin – it’s because we’re not millionaires in case you’re wondering – but the reason we went on this cruise was due to an email deal where we could get a free upgrade to ocean view (i.e. a window). I’d actually had a very nice email discussion with one of Princess’s cruise specialists – Rachel Vane – in order to confirm this...
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