What Are Volcanoes?
Reproduced with permission from the neOnbubble Know You Some Science series of student learning guides. What Are Volcanoes? A volcano is a special type of mountain so to understand what a volcano is we must first determine what a mountain is. What Is A Mountain? Some scientists believe that these can be made out of molehills but those sandwiches in the fridge were clearly marked as mine and I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to scream about it in the cafeteria at lunch time; I was very hungry; I had been sciencing all morning without a break. However, mountains are really a special type of hill so to understand what a mountain is we must first determine what a hill is. What Is A Hill? A hill is a raised area of land on the ground. If you needed to be told this then you probably don’t know what the ground is either. On we go. What Is Ground? Coffee beans are ground. The aromas released during this process are to die for and sometimes this very process is more pleasurable than the consumption of the hot drink itself. I like a nice, full-flavoured coffee and find the lighter bean variants can be a little too bitter. I have similar tastes when it comes to wine and real ale too; dark, heavy, not bitter. Now you know what to buy me when you bump into me at the Sciencorium. What Is The Sciencorium? The Sciencorium is where we sciencercise all day long, sciencing up things for all of mankind. Just last week I scienced an invisible ray. I’ve no idea what to do with it yet so it’s sharing a shallow pool with the invisible flounder and the invisible dogfish (I think) but that’s not the point; sciencing is about whether you can do something, not about whether you should or what benefit it might possibly have. Anyone who tells you different is a hippy. What Is A Hippy? A hippy (short for hippopotalayabout, from the ancient Greek for “does nothing, eats like a horse”) is an inhabitant of San Diego, birthplace of the atomic bomb. Hippies don’t like working or sciencing but they do like marijuana and this evil drug tells its addictees to complain about everything using placards and body odour. What Is Body Odour? The human body is covered with a layer of skin that looks solid to the naked eye but under a microscope it can be seen that this layer is perforated much like a teabag. If you were to hold a teabag to your nose and sniff deeply you would smell the...
America – Part 2 – Massachusetts
When we originally made plans to visit America it has to be admitted that no part of the Massachusetts area was on our radar at any point but then something rather nice happened. We discovered that my sister-in-law’s fiancé supported the New England Patriots and he discovered that I too supported that particular American Football team. It gets better. He – perhaps wanting to make a good impression on future family members, perhaps looking for a good excuse to go himself – tracked down tickets to a Monday night football game. He also arranged for internal flights, hotel, and car hire. This saved us having to do any of this ourselves. And so it was that I, my wife, and my wife’s future brother-in-law (my wife’s sister had to work so couldn’t come along) flew from Baltimore to Boston just two days after arriving in America. Baltimore To Boston I’ve already talked about travelling in America in the first part of this series of posts but just to give you a quick feel for this flight: awful internal security measures as per every American airport and then a quick flight with a cabin crew from Atlanta, Georgia whose intercom skill level rated at a Grade S (for screech!); I’m not exaggerating when I say that everyone jumped every time there was an announcement of some description. Anyway, it was mercifully short. Some Booking Mishaps Now, I’d like to make it very clear here that we – that’s my wife and I – did not arrange anything. I’d like to point out that all minor disasters were not of our doing. I’d like to add that we blame nobody and had a great time anyway. From Boston airport we hopped on a shuttle bus (with a driver who overheard our accents and insisted we come sit up front with him) to the Budget car rental lot where our hire car was waiting. Our hire car was not waiting for us. Computer checks were made, names were spelt out, checks were made again, names were double-checked, and then – finally – the printout of the car hire confirmation was retrieved from a bag to show that, yes, we were in the wrong car hire place entirely. We hopped on another shuttle bus to take us back to the airport in order that we could then hop on a third shuttle bus to take us to the correct car rental location but the first driver heard our sorry story and let us off near where we needed to go (so big thumbs up to the car rental people at Budget in Boston)...
Causal And Effects
“Jehovah’s Witnesses?” The couple turned their heads and looked at one another, she glancing down and he staring up on account of their relevant heights. A quizzical look passed between them and they turned slowly back towards James. “Not Jehovah’s Witnesses then,” said James who prided himself on his quick uptake but mostly wanted to break the uneasy silence. “No,” said the woman, slowly and carefully, almost concentrating on how the word formed and spilled from her lips. She smiled at this apparent success and continued in a more normal fashion: “You are James Trent of number three, Cosgrove Gardens.” James looked at the number on his open door and then across the road to the sign attached to the house on the corner opposite. He stopped himself from instantly admitting that there was no fault in what had just been said to him. “What do you want with him?” he asked cautiously so that he could still claim any surprise inheritance or pretend he’d moved long ago depending on how this played out. “We are the police,” said the male half of the couple. “We are Temporal Causality Police from your twenty-seventh century,” corrected the female. James nodded and sighed. “Of course you are,” he said with a slight smile. There was a drugs rehab centre three streets over and he’d encountered a scruffy, young man only last year who’d clearly fallen off the rehabilitation wagon and wanted to let the world know he was happy about it, as were the invisible, green unicorns on the rooftops. “Make sure none of the green unicorns get in your Tardis,” he said, and made to close the door. The woman took her hand from her pocket and placed it on James’ arm making him flinch and step away; she had icy cold fingers and it was a decidedly mild March day. “We are here to arrest you,” she said firmly. James felt certain that he must have misheard. “Sorry, you’re what police?” he asked, rubbing at his arm. “Temporal Causality,” said the man with a smile and a nod, and he then fished inside his jacket pocket for a card which was held up towards James. It looked like metal with a fine, translucent mesh across its surface and seemed to flex slightly in the grip of the stranger; there were some markings too that might have been letters, words, and pictures but they seemed to shimmer like holograms and disappear from view when looked at directly. James shook his head to clear the confusion. “You’re what?” he asked again. He hoped this was a new approach by the Jehovah’s...
Top Ten TV Sci-Fi Theme Tunes
Everyone loves a good top ten list. Or even a top ten list. There was a thread on Google+ amongst my circles recently that asked people what their favourite TV theme music of all time was and while I pondered my ponderings on the subject I realised – not terribly surprisingly, as it happens – that a lot of TV shows that I liked were of the science fiction genre. There were some that weren’t – and they’ll be good fodder for another update at some point – but there were enough that caused me to consider picking just my top ten favourite sci-fi TV show theme tunes and showcasing them to you in the form of videos. So here they are. #10: Star Trek Enterprise Now wait! I know, I know! There are a lot of people who don’t like this theme song. Actually, that needs some italicising: there are a lot of people who don’t like this theme song. I didn’t like it at first either. But it grew on me. It spoke to me. Think of it as a sentient fungus and what could be more science fiction than sentient fungus? Time-travelling sentient fungus, that’s what! But we’ll have to do without the temporal abilities for this music has none. Alternatively, if you want – if you really, really want – just consider this: I picked Dr Ruth Leavitt as my Hottest Sci-Fi Babe Ever; what were you expecting? #9: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K if you prefer) was a stranger to these British shores until the SyFy (then Sci-Fi) channel brought it across via the power of satellite broadcasting. Subsequently, it’s with Mike at the helm of the Satellite of Love and Pearl in control of choosing the awful movies that they would have to watch that I first became attached to this fantastic show and that’s why I’ve picked the intro music from season eight as one of my choices here. I’ve since gone on to watch nearly every episode from the early broadcasts on local American TV channel KTMA right through to its poignant conclusion; I grew to like Dr Forrester too, and TV’s Frank, but I could never associate with Joel. I just never really bought into the whole hippy janitor backstory. Hippy janitors! #8: Babylon 5 A good science fiction series with a well-defined story arc (the cycle of good versus evil in the universe set to the backdrop of security chief Michael Garibaldi’s receding hairline), good actors and actresses (and Mira Furlan), good cultures (especially the Centauri and their enormous appendages), occasionally ropey graphics rendering...
America – Part 1 – Travel
This is the first part in a series of posts regarding my recent trip to America. It’s been a long, long time since I really sat down and wrote anything for this site – you might possibly have noticed that there’s a lot of automated posting from Google+ and some filler video articles – and I felt that the time was right to address that in the form of something that will hopefully be a bit of a mix of travelogue, anecdotes, and trying to fool search engines into thinking this site is active and not some dumping ground for trash. Besides: it’ll be nice to have a diary of sorts of the trip – which was my first visit to the States – and it might even be of use to anybody thinking about travelling to the USA in the future. Unlikely, of course. I didn’t get hit on the head while overseas and suddenly develop the ability to be useful just like that. Travelling To And In America I’m going to start this series of American posts with one about travelling since it’s something that’s got to be done in order to get to America and once you’re there it’s something you’ll need to do too otherwise people start looking at you funny by the third day in the airport lounge. You’d have run out of money by the end of the second day. You’d be resorting to dancing for dimes. Dimes. That’s American money. Picked up the lingo! Now, during our short holiday – vacation if you prefer (I don’t) – in those there United States of America we managed to take part in three froms of travel: flying (both to and inside America), driving by car (both as a passenger and as a driver), and being transported by bus (only as a passenger as they’re quite snippy when you try to slide into the driver’s seat on those things). Flying To America The holiday started with a flight from London’s Heathrow to Washington’s Dulles airport. It concluded with another flight featuring those same two airports but in a slightly different order. We flew with Virgin Atlantic as their website seemed the easiest one in which to find important information such as: do you get fed on the plane? (YES) what are your luggage allowances? (PLENTY EVEN IN SCUM CLASS) is there a Scum Class of travel? (YES, BUT THEY DON’T CALL IT THAT) can you book in online? (YES) We flew Scum Class because we’re not made of money. In terms of price the flight was comparable to everyone else we looked at. Before flying...
Frogs Everywhere
There were frogs everywhere. Of the carpet there could be seen not one inch and the amphibians also adorned the three piece suite, curtains, photos, nested tables, television stand, and mantelpiece. Tens of thousands of eyelids opened and closed at regular intervals and a small number of the many creatures shifted or squirmed over neighbours but there was an otherwise strange stillness to the room. “There are frogs everywhere,” said Jay quietly, but not quietly enough. A wave of startled movement broke out near the taller of the two men’s feet but swiftly ebbed into the uneasy calm once more. “I know,” whispered Luke. “I have the gift.” Jay looked down at the top of his friend’s head, unable to see his face but certain it would show exaltation from the tone of voice. “There are frogs everywhere,” he repeated, quieter than before. Luke looked up, smiling. “I can make the noise and summon them,” he said, and took a deep breath. “Stop!” said Jay a little too forcefully as he grabbed his friend’s arm. A short chorus of croaks and other assorted noises broke out in the room and there was a concerted effort by several hundred of the room’s cold-blooded denizens to get away from the loud and scary man. A kaleidoscope of greens and yellows and browns with occasional gems of bright blues, reds, and oranges undulated across the floor. After about a minute near-silence and near-stillness returned. “You’ve ruined Katie’s birthday,” whispered Jay. He saw Luke’s shoulders drop slightly but there was no response. “Six today,” Jay continued, “and all she’ll remember is a semi-aquatic home invasion, her cake ruined, her friends in tears, and her screaming in terror in her room.” “I’m sorry,” said Luke, and it sounded like he meant it. “Why today? Why would you choose to try this gift out today of all days?” Luke looked around the room, seemingly seeing it and studying it for the first time. He couldn’t deny that there were frogs everywhere; some were on the walls and a couple had even made it across the ceiling and set up home amongst the light fittings in its centre. And the smell hit him suddenly too. Frogs had a distinctive odour and in this volume it was quite overpowering. “I’m sorry,” repeated Luke. “I’ve felt I had this gift all my life and I don’t know… I just felt compelled to try it today.” “All your life!?” Jay said incredulously, keeping his voice low. “Even six months ago?” There was a barely perceptible nod by way of reply. “Six months ago! Damn! Our planet is invaded by...
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