Greetings And Compliments
As a good Christian I quite often benefit from God’s benevolence in the form of substantial offers of money from complete strangers. Why look! One’s just turned up now! From: Mrs.Nadia Morgan Email:nadia-morgan@hotmail.com I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr TARRIK MORGAN who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2005. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. A quick check of the Bible confirms this to be true. Jesus specifically tells Thomas "don’t you be getting no child outside the matrimonial home. Ya hear me? Ya hear me?" during dessert at the Last Supper. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 12Million Dollars Twelve Million United State Dollars with one finance/security Company in Europe. 12Million Dollars Twelve Million United State Dollars is one hell of a lot of money. Wish I’d trained as doctor in the Ivory Coast instead of wasting my life here. Just think what I could do with 12Million Dollars Twelve Million United State Dollars. I could start an industry scamming people for their bank account details with lures of huge cash payments. If I wasn’t a good Christian, that is. Presently this money is still with the Security Company. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this Fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. Yes, what better way to thank God for killing your husband with four days notice and then striking you down with cancer than to donate money to the church? I suppose you could have cancer of the brain that’s eating away at your common sense ganglion. I want a church that will use this fund to fund churches orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. Wanted: widows. Married or single women need not apply. Your duties to include: propagating the word of God and keeping His house tidy. Pay special attention to the area on the floor around the toilet bowl as omnipotence doesn’t actually mean His aim is any good....
Doodle Week – Doodle Monster
This is day two of Doodle Week, as described here and run by the lovely – and inflatable penis-obsessed – Claire. Doodle Week continues at breakneck speed assuming that your neck is really quite weak and prone to snapping at the slightest knock. Perhaps you have brittle bone disease but it’s localised around the area joining your head to your body. Or maybe you survived a guillotining but have to be "a bit careful" as a result and try to avoid sash windows as a rule. Today’s theme is: Doodle Monster : "I had many a little monster I used to doodle as a kid. Some of these have evolved into rather bizarre looking creatures. What is hiding in your cupboard or under the...
Doodle Week – Doodle You
This is day one of Doodle Week, as described here and run by the lovely – and inflatable penis-obsessed – Claire. Seven days of doodling doodled by a rank amateur starts now! Each day produces a new theme for a doodle (and, importantly, a new way to update the site without any of that pesky "thinking of something fresh and now and hip" to get past) so that mounts up to quite literally oodles of doodles at the end of seven days. Today’s theme is: Doodle You : "try your hand at doodling yourself. From a stick person to whatever you think represents...
2008 Design
If you’re the proud owner of "eyes" and have had the terrible misfortune of having visited this site once before and make occasional use of "your memory" then, my friend, you may just notice that changes pertaining to site design have been afoot, went and afooted themselves, and can be said to be positively afeet right now. Standard post-design change disclaimer now follows … Tested on Windows PC in IE7 and FF3 Beta 5 and it looks okay to me. I really don’t care that much for other browsers or operating systems but if there’s a terrible problem in one of them and you’re one of those crazy people who uses such crud then let me know and I’ll sigh inwardly and see what I can do. There are "things" (technical term) still lying about that need tidying. I’ll get to them. I just couldn’t be bothered tweaking any more. Sometimes you’ve just got to stop tweaking and let it go. This means I can get back to updating the site properly soon. Soon. As in "not immediately". But soon. UPDATE: The Gods of Bad Timing have conspired to coincide this design update with my host upgrading the server. Expect larger problems. UPDATE UPDATE: Okay. Looks like most bugs sorted out. Couple of design niceties to address on some of the pages but I think we’re just about...
Horror Movie Madman Warehouse
We’re terrified! Terrified! TERRIFIED! Terrified that you might just miss out on one of these HORRIFYING deals on Movie Madmen! Are you making a low-budget horror movie but you haven’t decided who or what will be the MALEVOLENT FORCE that kills and terrifies the teenage twits? Do you wonder just where the producers of movies such as A Nightmare On Elm Street, Saw, Halloween, and Steel Magnolias get their DISTINCTIVE EVIL baddie? Dare you enter the HORROR MOVIE MADMAN WAREHOUSE? We’ve got nasties coming out of our earholes and that means BARGAIN PRICES for you! Look at our exclusive online deals now! Before that THING behind your back KILLS YOU! The Blood Bin Be careful what you try to recycle … it might just be you that ends up as compost! Don’t worry about saving the planet when it’s you that’s in danger! Of death! It’s your everyday, green wheelie-bin. They’re everywhere. But this one harbours the deranged soul of a former refuse collector who was pushed into the crushing mechanism of a rubbish truck by his colleagues high on hippy juice. His blood – his very essence – seeped into discarded plastic bottles that were then used in the process of manufacturing this bin of torment and it became a living, breathing, killing, recycling machine. Can you ever kill The Blood Bin? Or is it merely recyclable into horror sequels? Perfect for movies with green or anti-green messages to convey and a snip at just $999. Hubert Bathtowel Following on in the fine traditions of horror movie villains with non-horrific names such as Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and George Bailey is the initially heart-warming but ultimately heart-stopping Hubert Bathtowel. Hubert sucks! That’s right; every last drop of moisture pulled from your body. Devastatingly dessicating! Teased at an early age because of his ridiculous surname, Hubert drowned himself in the school pond and ended up going face-to-face with God who punished him for sinning by returning him to Earth in the form of his family monicker which is, admittedly, a bit Buddhist rather than Christian but at these knockdown prices who’s going to quibble? Hubert wants revenge on God and revenge on the kids who taunted him and if he gets rubbed between your legs after a shower then he’s okay with that too. Only $749.99 with a matching Handcloth From Hell. The Hot Air Balloonatic There’s terror in the skies and for once it’s not John Travolta. Look up and pray you don’t feel the hot air on your cheeks that signals the arrival of The Hot Air Balloonatic! What is the background of the bloodthirsty...
Collectible Spoons Newsletter #9
It’s that time of the year again! Yes, Spring has sprung and with it comes the newest edition of our Collectible Spoons Newsletter showcasing the latest and greatest works of spoonery to emerge from the spoon-making sweatshops of the world in the past couple of months. DeWangspak Silverware have just released something that will excite all our spoon-collecting farmers out there. With a limited edition of just 2000 spoons worldwide you’ll have to get up early to make sure you get hold of one of their beautifully-crafted 2008 Remembering The Tractor Tyre Collectible Spoons. DeWangspak have a reputation for high-quality craftsmanship and intricate design but they’ve opted for a simpler, more modern working of the classic spoon shape with long, straight lines and minimalistic decoration to fully embrace the spirit of the manufacturers of tractor tyres. American collectible memorabilia specialists Art and Garth Unkel always like to create a bit of a stir with their spoons – who can forget last Summer’s tribute to radioactive assassinations, the Polonium-210 Spoon? – and 2008 sees them return to a favourite subject matter of their’s with the release of the Anti-Coat Hangers Collectible Spoon. There’s a real treat in store for fans of pewter as – you’ve guessed it! – this thought-provoking piece is made using turn-of-the-20th-century techniques and materials and shows off the brothers’ spoon-making skills with the intricacy of the coat hanger work as well as their twisted humour in the addition of the bevelled phrases "Pro Life" and "Pro Choice" on opposite sides of the handle. Finally, to mark the passing of the golden age of lens flares in pictures on the internet comes this new and really quite special piece of memorabilia from Germany’s up-and-coming Scheisshaus Geschenke GmbH simply titled: Eminently Sensible Lens Flare Commemoration Spoon. In sterling silver and overlaid with an innovative hologramatic coating that incorporates several well-known lens flares from internet history it’s a racing certainity that this will be the stand-out spoon of your 2008 collection. The Eminently Sensible Lens Flare Commemoration Spoon also comes in a special presentation box with blinking...
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