Escape

Posted By Mark on Aug 20, 2012

There's a dreadful amount of trafficking in animals in Chichester; it's something that the police seem powerless to prevent or, just perhaps, they've given up caring. But some of us still care. We work in secret for fear of reprisals and we vary our methods to stay one step ahead of the traffickers. You spot a gerbil smuggler and you might bump against him clumsily, exhaling alcohol fumes facewards for good measure; he's irritated and pushes you away and you gladly go because that gerbil's in your pocket now and you've just handed off a replacement in the form of something that some dog owner previously wrapped up and disposed of in a nice, red bin. Or you see some thugs brazenly pushing a narwhal into the back of a van and you decide to give them the horn they seem so desperate for with a seductive belly dance while your colleague frees the captive creature unseen. Or, like today, you distract a courier with a Bluetooth message from across the street offering free leopards with every coffee at Starbucks giving just enough time by a convenient ledge for the abducted horselet to climb out and make his escape. Run little horselet! Run for your life! But it never ends and tomorrow you'll probably do it all again. Google+: View post on...

Entropy

Posted By Mark on Aug 18, 2012

You are witness to the moments before a terrible mistake. It's not his hat, although that is a terrible mistake too. Nor is it the contents of his roll, although cheese is the Devil's food and will be banned in the new world order. No, it is that one should never sit half in the sun and half out of the sun while eating. Do you know the Klingon proverb "Energy spontaneously disperses from being localised to becoming spread out if it is not hindered from doing so, p'tak!" (their proverbs need a little work)? Energy – more localised in the gentleman's upper half on account of that supplied by the sun's radiation and the roll's cheesy matter – was spreading out into the gentleman's lower half with every bite, every chew, and every swallow. The lower half, of course, could only absorb so much spreading energy, conducting a little away through the skin of the legs and feet but not enough to counter the flow. We are humans. We are aware of where in our lower extremities there are natural outlets. I would say that he farted but it would not do the moment justice. I was, instead, reminded of viewing film of V2 rockets taking off during the second world war. Of his body there was no sign but half of his roll remained on the pavement for just as long as it takes startled seagulls to recover their composure. A terrible mistake. #StreetPics curated by +Arnold Goodway +Pablo Luis Gonzalez +Monika Pia +urszula masilela +Dragos Ioneanu #StreetPhotography curated by +Tatiana Parmeeva #StreetSaturday   Google+: View post on...

Pink Shoes

Posted By Mark on Aug 13, 2012

I haven't taken part in #ShoesMonday for a while but these were too good to pass up. Or too awful to pass up. At the very least they were too pink to pass up. Spotted at Gunwharf in Portsmouth yesterday. Curated by +Laura Harding +Olga Kafka +Terry Fabre +Mee Ming Wong +Bernd Schaefers +Pablo Luis Gonzalez +Paul van de Loo Google+: View post on...

The Red Head Gang

Posted By Mark on Aug 11, 2012

A little after noon found me walking down South Street from the north and it was in this place and at this time that I spotted – through squinted eyes on account of the sun's position directly ahead of me – an explosion of reds and whites at eye level. Aha! I thought. It could only be Chichester's famous Red Head Gang (not to be confused with the equally fantastic Red Hand Gang from Canada in the 1970s) out for a bit of a neighbourhood patrol. The ladies of the gang were deep in conversation as I approached – I heard the words "protection" and "respect" and the phrase "break his legs" in hushed tones – but I couldn't take a photo. Not out of fear, of course, because I am at least as tough as five elderly women sporting red headwear. No, I couldn't take the snap because they were backlit by that accursed ball of plasma 93 million miles away! A pox on it! I needed to get the sun at my back. This meant walking past the gang and turning around. I've turned around before and felt confident that this manoeuvre would not be beyond my abilities and so it was to be but, alas! The ladies had started to move on in the opposite direction! I let out my best Muttley grumble and took a shot of their backsides. I don't normally take shots of elderly gang members' backsides but I don't think it came out too bad. Submitted for #SaturdayStyle (or #SAS ) curated by +lynn langmade and +lane langmade because there's a sub-theme today of hats (or headwear in general) today. Google+: View post on...

Alley Call

Posted By Mark on Aug 11, 2012

A damning indictment of the times we live in when you happen upon sad scenes like this: a girl unable to afford a phone app that makes it sound like she's phoning from an alley is forced to hunt down an actual alley to make her call in order to retain social standing amongst her peers. Damn this global recession! Damn it to hell! Google+: View post on...

David Icke

Posted By Mark on Aug 5, 2012