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Exclusive Picture! Prince William Fighting In Asia
Mar01

Exclusive Picture! Prince William Fighting In Asia

Posted By on Mar 1, 2008

They’re calling him "Warrior King William!" British Royal Prince William has been fighting in Asia since late December and has been directly involved in unarmed combat. This new exclusive revelation follows on just hours after the exclusive revelation that Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report exclusively revealed exclusive revelations he’d read in two other media publications – Australia’s New Idea and Germany’s Bild – exclusively revealing Prince William’s brother Harry had also been fighting in the Asian region. Prince William, a relative newcomer to the world of Muay Thai boxing, and second in line to the throne of Britain, has been a "rather smashing combatant" and "surprisingly adept at roundhouse sweeps." Prince William is taking part in a tournament of amateurs in the Thai capital, Bangkok. Ministry of Defense and Clarence House refuse all comment. Close friends have managed to keep the prince away from the local brothels and have encouraged fellow Brits on holiday in the region to stay quiet. Developing...

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Elaine
Feb16

Elaine

Posted By on Feb 16, 2008

An entry for an internet competition run by Model Elaine here: Dating Site Photo Editing. The rules are simple: take a photo of Elaine and niceify it. That’s right; niceify is a word. It means to unbadderatimise. Here goes: Okay. Maybe – maybe – I went a little bit overboard. You can’t deny it’s more eye-catching though. Steps taken: Liquify filter on the face – stern appearance softened by slight raising and adjusting of cheek and jawline, altering lips, raising and thinning of eyebrows, slight opening of eyes. Liquify filter on the chest and arm to increase bust size and add an opening to the blouse. You know: for the sexiness! Saturation of image increased. Curve adjusted off the straight line to increase dark and light level contrast. Duplicate taken. Levels blown out to increase white. Diffuse glow added to duplicate. Duplicate the duplicate and gaussian blur it then merge down. Color adjust duplicate then overlay over original image, pin light blending, 80% opacity. Add adjustment layer to increase image saturation. Add a new layer with color blending at 70% opacity to accentuate the eyes slightly...

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Graven Imagery
Feb09

Graven Imagery

Posted By on Feb 9, 2008

After a long Winter break where the grey skies and rain inspired me to keep my camera away from the grey skies and rain I’ve finally returned to my photography place now and spent part of the last week out and about with my camera bag over my shoulder trying to work up the courage to try some street photography. I’m not quite there yet. I worry that people will get angry that there’s a man sticking his zoom lens up the skirts of their girlfriends. Upskirt is still street photography, okay? So, I’ve restrained myself and stuck to those who only complain through the medium of mediums and phantasmal projections: the dead. I recently sauntered around Kingston Cemetery and managed to not tread on a single squirrel as I clicked away merrily. After my clicking frenzy drew some looks from mourners I whipped out my camera and took some photos instead. Now That’s What I Call A Cramped Grave! Click to view larger image. If at first you don’t succeed then try, try, try again. This is good advice if you are a spider near a Scotsman. Everyone knows what Scotsmen are like when there are spiders around and no witnesses. Run for it spider! Run! Stay away from the kilt Carol Anne! As advice goes it’s also ranked as "good" when discarding bananas into the path of pursuing Death Monkeys. They might go for one of them if they fancy a snack or, alternatively, slip over and split their skulls in twain in a comedy manner. Persevere and don’t give up. Infant death, though. Maybe it’s just me but after about the third one had died early I might have said: "Ah, forget it. Let’s adopt a penguin." Or: "I think we’ve conclusively proved they lose their bounceability early in their development." Or: "Perhaps we should try feeding this one." Or: "Satan has tainted your breast milk with arsenic! A pox on your procreative juices!" Or: "Mum, this just isn’t working." 1.21 Gigawatts Later Click to view larger image. One of the joys of photographing old things is wondering just what they would have looked like in their original form. Thus it was as I came across a gravestone cross that had at some point collapsed upon itself. Usually, when out and about photographing women undressing through their bedroom windows I take the Focus – it has a quiet idle just perfect for perverted picture-producing – but on this particular day I’d taken the DeLorean for a jaunt. 88 MPH and 1.21 gigwatts later I crashed into a pristine marker cross in the cemetery 82 years in...

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Grindhouse Posters
Apr27

Grindhouse Posters

Posted By on Apr 27, 2007

This is a plug for a thread taking place on Something Awful which contains some rather spiffing grindhouse-style (i.e. sex and violence and outright lying) poster creations for films that have nothing to do with the genre. Yes, I’ve taken part. Yes, mine isn’t up to scratch. However, that won’t stop me promoting the thread anyway and dropping a subtle hint for you to do the same. Why? Because it beats writing an article! That’s why! Visit the thread by clicking this here link here (<- that there link there). And if you want a bigger version of that picture – because someone might, no, they really might, you don’t know for sure – then I’ve hidden it under this here link here (<- that there link...

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