If there’s one thing that writing my Pictures Of Jentina article back in June of 2004 has taught me it’s that I’m not that bad at optimising my site and content in order to draw people in, people like to see pictures of celebrities (artistic licence for use of the word "celebrities";bear with me), and children these days are uncapable of spelling. Okay, that’s three things. And uncapable was deliberate.
Anyway, hot on the heels of that Jentina post (or nearly a year later if you want to get all technical and accurate about it) comes the next in my thrilling series: Pictures Of Semi-Famous People ‘N’ 100% True Facts ‘N’ Stuff. It was a difficult choice selecting a new beneficiary for this series but in the end I chose Lady Sovereign. There were a number of reasons why I chose Lady Sovereign but the main one was an attempt to stop people still leaving comments on the Jentina article: it’s been eleven months people! Stop it already! I know most of you couldn’t spell if your life depended on it but I was harbouring a small hope that you knew what dates were, what they looked like, and in what approximate order they tended to appear.
So, on with this entry where I’ve promised to show Lady Sovereign pictures and reveal information about the diminutive singer never before revealed or even made up!
FACT: Lady Sovereign was raised by a family of magicians in London’s beautiful ghetto of Wembley. A fully paid-up member of the magic circle to this day, she uses many of the tricks she has been taught from an early age to distract and entertain people, the most notable being always standing behind a convex lens to appear larger than her true 2’7" frame.
FACT: Lady Sovereign and Jentina are locked in an eternal struggle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, shellsuits versus tracksuits, Wiley-Kit versus Wiley-Kat, Knight Rider versus Are You Being Served? They meet every Saturday night and wrestle in mud with razor blade-studded mittens but nobody is allowed to watch. I have a secret video though but it makes me feel funny when I watch it and I couldn’t possibly share it with a stranger.
FACT: Although she is not allowed to drive a car for security reasons (and because boxes strapped to the feet, while amusing in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, are frowned upon by Her Majesty’s traffic police), Lady Sovereign is permitted to take her fleet of dirigibles out whenever she wants. Last year she fell through a timehole above Harrods and helped to defend London from an air raid by the dastardly hun.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Basement Jaxx. She bought one of their t-shirts.
FACT: Quite often people will visit neOnbubble while trying to find the lyrics to "Sad Arse Strippa" or one of several hundred other spelling variants. You won’t find them on this site. I’m not sure if the song was ever released properly and it’s a shame if that’s the case because there simply aren’t enough tracks in the music charts with arse in the title. Roy Orbison’s 1977 success with "Breakin’ Up All Night Blue Arse" is a notable exception.
FACT: Lady Sovereign would receive more traffic to her website if she was called "Lady Sovrin". Seriously. How many of her fans do you think can actually spell her name? There’s a silent ‘g’ in there! A silent ‘g’! Kids these days have trouble spelling loud letters let alone silent ones.
FACT: The next song to be released as a single by Lady Sovereign will be "9 To 5". It is a reworking of the Dolly Parton song used in the film of the same name. Sov is a big fan of the country and western singer’s and would like to open her own themepark, just like Dolly, in the future. It will possibly be called This Is Lady Sovereign’s Themepark Please Come In but that’s just a working title.
FACT: Lady Sov’s favourite television channel is CNN. She gets all the ideas for her songs from watching the news headlines. Recent track "Random" was about the uprising and violent quelling of protests in Uzbekistan, whereas earlier track "Shhh!" was inspired by trying to watch the stock exchange ticker scroll along the bottom while an anchorman talked about farming subsidies for Argentinian gauchos.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Dizzee Rascal. He mistook her for a footstool.
FACT: It’s very difficult for Lady Sovereign to go out in public without being mobbed or asked for an autograph or asked if she wants to buy some lighters, three for a pound. Subsequently, she spends most of her time in a hole under her mum’s house. She is fed through a straw and allowed one magazine a week but no more otherwise she gets overexcited and it’s impossible to get her to sleep.
FACT: Her best experience while touring occurred last year backstage at a festival when she spotted Justin Timberlake and Donny Osmond playing a table tennis doubles match against N.W.A.’s Eazy-E and Paris Hilton. Eazy’s death in 1995 lends credence to the theory that she was standing too close to the freshly-painted Oasis enclosure at the time.
FACT: There is quite possibly a wealth of information about the star and her fans on the Lady Sovereign Forum but you will need better eyesight than me to be able to read any of it. It hurts! Make the pain stop!
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported D12. She waved a placard proclaiming their innocence in the bombing of a group of nuns that took place in China.
FACT: Many people will probably be looking for new pictures of Lady Sovereign when they visit this page and will be disappointed that there is nothing of value here; I’m sorry but that’s pretty much the point of this site. I have no doubt that many understandable perverts will be after nude photos of the singer too. To all these people I can only apologise this far into the article too safe in the knowledge none of you are probably reading it.
FACT: To get her distinctive singing style Lady Sovereign spent six months living with zebras in a zoo in El Salvador. She later claimed that she had been kidnapped and held for ransom by La Hachaduran freedom fighters but this was just to earn street cred. Really, she just wanted to sing like the zebras do.
FACT: Mike Skinner of The Streets is reputedly a fan of Lady Sovereign. He has photos of her all over the back of his toilet door. And that’s not all he has on the back of his toilet door if you know what I mean! Huh?! Huh?! He also has a coat hook and a handle that, when turned, opens the door and allows him to leave.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Obie Trice. She comforted him after the death of his woodlouse Bernard.
May 25, 2005
This is hilerious! Esp the Sovrin comment! I’m a big fan and regularly post on her message board and you are not wrong that most of her fans can’t spell! It takes me double the time to read posts because I’m not familiar with the stupid text speak that goes on. You are now officially bookmarked!
May 25, 2005
LOOOOOL THIS WEBSITES JOKES IM CREASIN’ I POST ON THAT FORUM AND I CAN SPELL FINE KIND OF =/
May 26, 2005
LOL… joker.
May 26, 2005
so jus cos sum1 chooses not t spel things rite means dat they cnt spell, its got nothing to do wiv d fact that it takes alot less time to type
May 26, 2005
LOL…that website kills it and true most people dont no how to spell sovereign
May 31, 2005
dis is bare jokes lol
June 1, 2005
complete waste. a true example of the beggars and untalented wasteheads who have got signed
June 2, 2005
Hello!
Iz dis blog ’bout ur ‘ero Miz Sov, or ‘ow gud u can crap spell!
Seems 2 me, dere is only 2 thoughts, in a Sov fans ‘ead
1, ‘ow brill her diss ov Tina is
2, n ‘ow u can b the bes’ crap speller
She shud gwan read Private Eye to understan’ wot sarcasm is. Coz till den, not only iz the Miz, titchy, but her lyrics r still at Junior school
N’ I Don’t fink, Reggae Sunsplash, will be bellin’ ‘er dis year sumhow!
June 4, 2005
hi i fink mz sov is lush!!!
June 6, 2005
shit dunno if my last comment sent bt anyways as i was sayin…dis site kills it.bare jokes.da lil comment made bout how most sov fans cant spell…wel im sure dat most of da ppl dat hav brought dem selfs 2 dis site can spell perfectly fine.i mean its nt like ya cnt undastand wat were sayin wen we rite in so called slang etc."so babyBOY u kp ur ‘ead in dat dickshonary ov urz..lol nah tru say dis sites funni n dat…x( nuff luv 2 lady sov,coz da gal jus rips it apart.got me all hooked on ya tunes n i no say its nt jus me.luk how evry1s chatin bout ya etc.wel ur doin sumat rite.n ur jus buff.fukin sexy.hope ya read dis tho!!!
June 28, 2005
http://www.colonelblimp.com/directors/adamsmith/
The url 4 the Wee Grime Princesses latest video,(and it works)
It ain’t half bad not sure if I care 4 the squeaky faststyle pattern she attempts in parts
Still a vast improvement on that pathetic n putrid diss of Jentina
Tink dis girls got a future, fe sure
And big it up fe Adam Smith 2!
June 29, 2005
[colour=darkred][/colour][size=12][/size] Who h8z lady sov? er name sounds bit posh innit!
July 10, 2005
lmao i only found this stite because i wanted to find out haw to spell it, she is short tho… but u know varry atractive, id love to aim it at her wet spot
July 14, 2005
wasssss up, big up to ur tunes lady sov big up were ever u at girl! nice one love ya xxp.s mc wardy
July 17, 2005
Yo…jus like to say Lady sovereign is a fcukin legand. Shes gt a nice figure n so what if shes uny 5"1??lol shes gr8 and she cums up wid da most random song names…but oh well…big up to sov!!!!
July 18, 2005
Duh! wen u lot rite Sov!!! it actrualy luks lik Sow
How random iz dat?
Don’t git ur sox it a twist mi townie frien’s
Pull em up over ur nees!
July 28, 2005
New vid link – Sov wiv the Ordinary Boys @ Brighton – 9 to 5
its not the same as de colonel blimp ‘un
http://www.nme.com/features/113098.htm
U haf fe giv ur Email to watch!
July 31, 2005
i hate the bitch, she sucks and gives her musical style a bad name.
but she is pretty fit 😀
and truesay about how nobody can spell on the forum, just visited and now my brain just peed itself…
August 1, 2005
Lady Sovereign is sooooo cool im her biggest fan! I LOVE U LADY SOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 5, 2005
lady sovereign is crap shes just a lil chavy girl tryn 2 get famus "i couldnt be boverd to say my cheer sooooooooooooooo" wot a load of bollux
August 9, 2005
[size=18][/size] FUCK ALL OF U i tink it wel sad dat u all ave 2 bitch bout er she gud at mc in, shes pretty n she dnt need 2 take er clothes off 2 get noticed unlike dat slappa jentina
August 9, 2005
I H8 IT WEN PEEPS TRY N SAY DERE GHETTO WEN DERE PUSSY LADY SOV DNT KEEP BANGIN ON BOUT OW RUFF SHE IS. DATS WOT MAKES ER RUFF ALL U LIL BOYZ N GALS FINK UR ARD BY SLAGGIN ER OFF BUT I BET U WUDNT SAY IT 2 ER FACE. DATS COZ UR ALL PUSSY
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
October 16, 2005
well i fink dat lady sov is safe as fuck and the lyrics in her songs ar funny as fuck and da peps dat says she is shit is talking a load of crap otherwize y would day be on da web sight
so y dont you all grow up and stop bein jelos of da lady sov init
fuck all ov yu lllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
October 17, 2005
Crizt ‘sumin’ i finnk u’se eclipsed I-IN-STINE in ur statement dere!
Fe all u’se chav’s that never stayed pass u’re 1st yr of comp
I-IN_STINE woz 1 ov t’a scientist massive, n’ no dey wern’t a rap-band!
October 20, 2005
HELO MATE WOT U UP 2
October 20, 2005
this is to "G.E. TREAL"
oh listen mate you dont av a clue who you are talking to so if i was you i would watch your back ok twat
October 20, 2005
lady sov aint all dat pretty iz she
nnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
October 20, 2005
lady aint all that pretty iz she
nnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
October 20, 2005
i would love to shag lady sov shes the best
October 27, 2005
FACT: Scientists predict that by the end of this year if lady sovereign pulls her hair back any tighter she shall lose her hair completely and look very similar to a bald version of her self with her hair though this image is just a rough guess.
October 28, 2005
i want to shag lady sovereign
October 30, 2005
hi i liv in norhern irealnd and i fink dat Lady Sovereign is class and all u peeps dat dont like her well it just gos 2 show how frutie uz r lol.
November 22, 2005
ite,
Lady sovereign is well funi lol but i fink da ppl who r gettin all lyk weird jst cos ppl dnt type properly is jst mazin. Lyf is 2 short m8 i aint gna sit ere typin properly i hav 2 do it at skl. it all means same fing so y not use da shorta version!!!!!! lol
January 2, 2006
EZY U A SIK MC NEVER CEEN A BIRD MC LIKE U U R WKD GD LUK L8R ON
January 3, 2006
haha ive known about lady soveriGn da longest ive got her signiture n all lps and singels b4 all of you’s n wen im 16 i get to go in her video how ur all thinkin coz she works wid my cusins friend !! hell yes " she gave me a fat lip what u drinkin cats piss u failed actress slat da blood on ur matress aww u had to clean it up hah stupid fuk did u just call me a mut dnt push ur luk …
January 3, 2006
ching ching ! hoodie ! fit but you know it re mix ! 9-5 ! ramdon ! tango ! the broom ! blah blah blah ! blah blah blah re mix ! shhh ! ect ect ( and another song but i dunno wot its called ! mcsophie@hotmail.co.uk
January 6, 2006
ight pplz yah got nuffin else 2 do but h88?!? wel fuk off den yeh as ur all lil minors hu will get baded up yeh n if yah no wots gd 4 yah den fuk off … dunt even no lady sovereign but yeh shes a sik emcee bt not as gud as me init ladzzzz lol nr init shes livo yeh safeee x1x hold it downn x1x
January 11, 2006
Sup pplz. Diz site wack…. ful of diks u get meh.. S.O.V u iz pretty sick …. u cud spit a bit faster but oh well not every 1ns perfect u get me… anywayz dis iz runnin on sum long ting holla ‘ yo gurl n i’ll get ma Boo .. DIZZIE to hook u up so dat u iz rollin in it iight ~1~
January 15, 2006
Oh dear i ‘ere da grime princess dun gwan ‘n signed a deal wiv JZee toons PLC’ so i doubt she’ll be back doin’ a 2 squid gate @ da Hackney Palace
Tuff! Allrite poppickers!
‘N jus to show its only the ‘mi chav ikon is better dan u’r chav ikon’ Ner ner na ner ner! witterings dat arsebrain mi, I’s posting a link 2 Miz Sov’s latest vid,
‘Random’ coz its really quite gud!
http://videos.antville.org/stories/1295817/
I better not hotlink it, coz i don’t know iv Mark would view such an action, disapprovingly as blatant unasked libertytake’n!
January 22, 2006
ELOW.. i duno wat u menna rite ere but ne wayz
ne way l8a
xXxXxXxXxX
January 30, 2006
iryt ya music is good lol xx
February 19, 2006
wat up wat up
February 21, 2006
hey hey hey make space for the SOV she is sooo SICK she is wicked im loving all her music especially blah blah and random bless 2 all lady sovereign gals and boys mwoah
February 28, 2006
aite lady sov iz bare jokes U GET ME .bruv about people cant spell sovereign
March 5, 2006
I’d like to meet LADY SOV, to tell her how much i want to lick her legs suck her itty bitty titties and use her lovely shit for toothpaste ooh i bet even her piss tastes good ! SEXY LIL RIDEOUT!
March 22, 2006
I love you s.ov, u are a bare good rapper and you’re so small bless ya but u give it bare. ur such an inspiration, i hope you do well in ur career
XXXXxxxxx keep it rocking and btw i’ve learnt all ur lyrics and i bought my first baby blue adidas tracksuit a few days ago, r u proud? 😀 Xxxxxxxxxx GRACE XXXxxx
March 26, 2006
I like my tutes, i freely admit it. No thing i like more, the other afternoon when i was driving past the green i spotted a lady sov lookalike and she was putting out for £15.00…raw!
March 30, 2006
lady sov is fcukin sound..al ppl hu dis er r pussies..big up da sovereign!!! p.s. er tune wid da streets(get outta my house) is propa quality..keep doin ya sh*t sov!!!
March 30, 2006
da jentina diss is a legend song..keep up da gd werk!! im likin da lil_miz_sov..lol..do u MC?
April 2, 2006
Question fe mi idren Mr mc_spark
‘ere u know wen u a slaggin’ der posse who gwan n diss da Grime Princess. Does dat include ladies?
Coz unfortunately I cee a slight problem dere!
I don’t fink it can concevibly carry much weight as an insult, if such a phrase is applied to lasses!
I suggest u go away n fink ’bout it, perhaps u could cum up wiv a rap, seen ur an MC?
Summin like ‘Slag orf Disser’?
U mite get a deal wiv J-Zee innit!
I’m bored now I’ve dun mi sunday half hour