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Confusion
Jan14

Confusion

I still don't have my camera back from the repairers but +urszula masilela was apparently missing me, so since I've been taking my old 350D out at lunchtimes (with very varying levels of success) here's something to fill the gap… They looked one way up the street, then the other, then back again. He looked up one street, she looked down another. They glanced up and down. Brows were furrowed. And then I caught their eyes. "Problem?" I asked. "All these leopards!" the man tutted. He resumed looking confused and I decided to join him in that state. "Leopards?" I asked. I made a mental note to stop asking one-word questions. The woman shook her head in irritation as a rivulet of water ran down her temple and cheek. The man grunted and pointed into the sky and then at the ground. He shook himself. "Leopards!" he said. "We call that stuff rain around here," I offered helpfully. A perplexed glance was shared between the damp couple. "Never heard of it," said the man. "Do you call those candles?" he asked, looking up and then squinting awkwardly as a drop splashed into his eyeball. "Nope. Those are called clouds. Everyone calls them clouds because they're clouds. Candles are something else entirely." "Not where we're from," he replied. His companion busied herself looking around anxiously. "You're still looking a little confused," I remarked. "We've been here ages and there hasn't been a single sense of impending doom." "That's the sort of thing you step onto and it takes you from one place to another?" They nodded and I saw a bit of a smile. "Well, at least a sense of impending doom is the same in this weird place," the man said. I decided not to correct him and instead led the pair of them away from the centre of the pedestrianised precinct and to the nearest bus stop. At least, that's what I told them. It was actually a tree. I can only assume they're still there. Google+: View post on...

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The Surface Of Mars
Jan13

The Surface Of Mars

Mars, home of Smash-loving robots and warlike creatures susceptible to coughs and the music of Slim Whitman, also known as the red planet. Because it’s red. Just a lot of red dust and rocks and mountains under a sorta pale-reddish sky. A handful of Rovers from Earth here and there, a little bit of ice on the caps, but mostly red, right? Not so right. Get your inquisitive, helpful self along to Planet Four and you’ll get access to one heck of a load of pictures taken of the surface of Mars from the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. These photos will show different areas of the planet over the course of a year and the formations of carbon dioxide blotches or fans as the seasons alter. By analysing these images you’ll be able to aid in the mapping of wind patterns across Mars. You’ll be helping science! Here: have some more pictures from Mars! Below we can see the famed Spotted Dick Plateau on Mars. These markings in the next picture look a little like tiger stripes but it would be crazy to think that Mars ever needed a means to camouflage itself among long grass when stalking prey. These are far more likely to be giant worm trails. Vast plains covered in dried, cracked parchment. Were the ancient Martians trying to write a message that we could read across the vast distance of space. We may never know for sure but let’s assume so. Scientists won’t confirm whether the regular channels in this next picture of Mars indicate the presence of cultivation in Martian history. But they won’t deny it either. Mostly, they won’t answer my calls. And here we can clearly see that the native Martians have constructed a side-on portrait of one of their kings; Martians, it appears, have two mouths, probably adapted so that one can speak while the other one eats some lovely, lovely, red Mars dust. Did I say that you should head along to Planet Four? I thought so. So why are you still reading...

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Dorothy Lamour
Jan06

Dorothy Lamour

There’s something so very stylish about a lot of the stars of the screen from the 1920s upwards but one of the women who always makes me stop and stare whenever I see a picture of her is Dorothy Lamour. Dorothy was born in 1914 in New Orleans of French, Spanish, and Scots-Irish heritage. Fortunately, it was mostly the dark, sultry, Spanish blood that dominated her appearance; I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with curly ginger hair and freckles but let’s just agree that it’s unlikely we’d have heard the name Lamour being mentioned much if her genetic make-up had been jiggled around a bit. Lying to enter a Miss New Orleans contest (she was underage), she nevertheless won it and used this as a stepping stone in persuading her mother to take her first to Chicago and then New York. In both of those cities she sang in hotels and while singing in One Fifth Avenue she landed a radio contract with NBC. When NBC took the series “The Dreamer of Songs” to Los Angeles she followed and the proximity of Hollywood meant it wasn’t long before she’d auditioned, taken a screen test, and been signed up by Paramount. She was given star billing in her first movie, The Jungle Princess, and that started a long career in the film industry that saw her receive most fame for her appearances with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in the Road to… movies. All of which is very nice but I’m mostly posting this so that I’ve got a good excuse to get some pictures of Dorothy Lamour up too. I’m so very, very shallow. Forgive me. Dorothy Lamour sitting atop a sign post pointing out all the destinations of the Road to… films. Her vertigo put an end to the proposed run of twenty movies, something for which Bob Hope never forgave her. I love the cut of the dress in this shot which almost makes it look like she’s got butterfly wings. She doesn’t have butterfly wings, of course. If she had then we’d have probably heard of Dorothy Lamour as the star of Freaks but nothing else. Sometimes a girl just can’t help laughing while brushing her hair. I don’t know why. Who can fathom the workings of a woman? Dorothy Lamour rubbing her hands on something hard and scaly. Well, if that doesn’t attract sexual weirdos to the site then nothing will. Lovely, classic glamour photo from the golden age of cinema stars’ photography. Depth of field, lighting, disinterested look: all perfect. What’s that? You want to know who’d win in a fight between Ms...

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Mister Astonishing!
Jan04

Mister Astonishing!

When citizens are in trouble they send word for Mister Astonishing! But sometimes even Mister Astonishing makes mistakes! Is this the end for Mister Astonishing? Find out next...

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2012 In Pictures
Jan01

2012 In Pictures

Well, I’m starting off 2013 without a functioning camera (not strictly true; I can still use the old 350D) because my 5D Mark II has developed a shutter problem (the infamous “Err 30”) and will need to get sent off to an authorised repairer. This is one of two camera-related disasters of 2012 (*). Still, it’s a new year and I’ve updated the colour theme and logo on the site and need to keep the content flowing so why not take a look back at 2012 and pick out a photo I’ve taken every month with a little blurb for filler? There are many reasons why not but I’m just going to go ahead anyway. January It was my oldest friend (in terms of how long I’ve known him as opposed to person of greatest age) Matthew’s fortieth birthday so a family and friends gathering took place at Portchester Castle. It was quite cold. Well, it was January. Pictured is Matthew’s dad and his son playing on the old walls. February My love affair with street photography continued and every now and then I took a nice shot too. This is one I particularly liked, featuring a girl on the phone down an alleyway just off East Street in Chichester. I got myself close to the wall so that I could get nice lines down the brickwork. March The days were getting longer in March – it’s my understanding this is a common occurrence – which meant the evenings as I left work were occasionally visited by interesting-looking sunsets or weak suns. This shot is taken from the roof of the multi-storey car park where I (big surprise!) park my car. April Our annual trip up north to watch Wakefield in the Super League took place in April in 2012. To mix things up we went a different route from normal and ended up popping in to Matlock Bath on the way. Very nice it was too. Pictured is a shot of a bridge over the river Derwent and snow on the hills in the background. May A friend from the states, Michelle, popped over to London on business in May and since she’d been kind enough to show us around Washington D.C. the year before we returned the favour and took her on a walking tour of our capital city. This photo was during a lunch break that we took in Covent Garden where you have to accept that you’ll be sharing your food with winged pests. June In June my dad took my wife and I, my brother and his wife, and my sister-in-law’s two kids to...

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