Sex And Inappropriate Movies
Just recently there was a thread on FriendFeed (I won’t link to it because everyone knows that FriendFeed is dead and all the people on it therefore must be ghosts who couldn’t possibly benefit from such an action) that asked people to describe their sex lives in the form of movie titles; it probably came from somewhere else as these things roam the internet and crop up hither and thither when boredom takes a stand. I tried to think of a few titles that could apply – not to me, because I’m indescribable – and realised quite quickly that I didn’t want to share any of them on a social network where anyone could simply see them as all the ones I was coming up with were a little inappropriate. I’d hate for people to think I’m a weirdo. Far better to post them here where they’re guaranteed a little privacy. Describe Your Sex Life Inappropriately With A Movie Title Rear Window The Crying Game 12 Angry Men The Sting Strangers On A Train The Thing The Big Sleep Finding Nemo Big Trouble In Little China The Searchers Little Big Man Big Fish Manos: The Hands Of Fate Lawnmower Man In The Name Of The Father High School Musical Outbreak Gone With The Wind O Brother, Where Art Thou? Fiddler On The...
Photoshopped Pictures
Many moons ago I was a member of the Something Awful forums. I took part in the regular Photoshop Phriday themes. I even got a few published. Looking through some backup folders today I happened upon some of the pictures that used to be on this site prior to its migration to WordPress. I should put them back, I thought. And so I...
Post-Apocalyptic Estate Agent
I’m dreadfully sorry for my tardiness Mr and Mrs Rags; there was a road traffic accident along the southern desert road which naturally has had a knock-on effect throughout the area… Did I get anything? Oh yes! After the Enforcers chased off the Carrion Legion – it was they who’d laid the trap; family all dead by the way, killed post-crash – I managed to fight through the scavengers and took a shoe off the father and a hub cap from one of the wheels… No, it was plastic but with a bit of a clean it might look metallish. Someone might want it. You? No? Okay then. Anyway, have you viewed any other places since we last spoke? No? So much the better for me then, ha ha! No, but seriously, there’s not a lot out there right now so it’s not surprising… Did I happen to catch where the family was from and if their dwelling is now vacant? You know, I didn’t. But look, when I get back to the office I’ll see if I can put some feelers out among the gangs and I can get back to you on that. I mean, unless we find something perfect for you today, of course! Okay, so the place I want to take you to first today is just behind this burnt-out car… You thought it might be the car? Oh, no. No, that’s not on the market to the best of my knowledge although I can always make enquiries on your behalf if you’d like… Yes, it might be out of your budget range. If something smaller with less of an intact chassis comes up though I will definitely be in touch. Where were we? Yes, here we are. Right, this is what I wanted to show you first; this is an old sewer outlet that was already out of use before The Fall of Mankind in the Time of Pain and Fire so it’s got a lot of history in it and – as you can see – it’s solidly-built. You probably only need to do a little aesthetic work on the inside and, of course, I’d recommend some form of defensive reinforcement across the entrance here… Yes, the previous occupant was a little, er, lacking in common sense in that area… An old lady, I believe, but I don’t know her name… Taken to compete in the arena… I am assured that she won’t be returning to stake a claim on the property, yes. So why don’t you take a look around? Mind your head. Rats? Yes, there will be some so no need...
What Did Jimmy Carr Do?
This is Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr did a legal thing. And he did it… …legally. Fin.
Sports Bar
Another dip into my photo archives to see what I can resurrect from previously unprocessed or too simply processed or otherwise rejected shots and this is a picture of Churchill's, the sports bar on the Diamond Princess which was the ship we cruised on during our honeymoon in 2008. This was taken on the first day of cruising out of Hong Kong, which was the second day of playing with my then brand new Tokina f/4 12-24mm on the Canon 350D. It was early in the morning and we'd headed down to the bar specifically to watch some live American Football. We knew that Churchill's was the only place on board where you could smoke indoors and we knew that it was possible to buy cigars there; neither I nor my wife were or are smokers but we both thought it might be an experience to sit in an American sports bar, watching some football, maybe sipping on a bourbon, and allowing the smell of cigar smoke from some other patrons to add to ambience. Sadly, what we got was an inability to get any drink from anybody and only two other passengers plus a steady stream of staff members who nipped in to have quick – and decidedly revolting-smelling – cigarettes. Not what we were after. Google+: View post on...
My Easter Holiday In Yorkshire
This Easter I went on a holiday with my mummy and daddy and we went to Scotland to a place called Yorkshire. My daddy drove the car because my mummy doesn’t drive because my daddy says he doesn’t trust whitey to drive cars. I don’t know what that means. We left very early in the morning so that we could avoid all the other cars on the road but daddy decided to use the London M25 and he complained that that plan fell to shit straight away. His words. After the London M25 daddy drove the car on the M1 and it was full of roadworks because it was a bank holiday. Daddy swore a lot but then he laughed because some other cars didn’t understand what an average speed check was and they were only slowing down for the cameras and then speeding up and daddy said he hoped they got fined a million pounds. We stopped in a motorway service station and had a wee and then mummy and daddy looked at the map to see if there was somewhere interesting to stop and they said that there was a place in a national park nearby which looked interesting so we went to the Peak District. We drove through a place called Ripley and mummy and daddy laughed and kept saying “Ripley!” and “mostly” because they like a film where a little girl like me says “Ripley!” and “mostly” but then daddy said that Ripley was a shit hole. His words. We drove to a place called Matlock Bath but we didn’t see any baths which is silly although we were only there for a few hours. Mummy and daddy laughed and kept saying “Matlock” like Grampa Simpson but they don’t always laugh and say the names of places they travel to. They are weird but they aren’t that weird all the time. Matlock Bath was pretty and had a river in it and cable cars which we did not go on. The place we stayed at in Yorkshire was called Wakefield and mummy and daddy like it there because they like a rugby team who plays there called the Wildcats. Mummy was upset because they used to have a nice light blue kit but now it’s white or dark blue and ugly as shit. Her words. We watched the Wildcats play rugby against the Tigers and the Tigers won the game although the fight in the stands behind us was more even. Daddy was disappointed with the game even though he and mummy always see Wakefield lose when they watch them. Daddy was also disappointed with...
Recent From Retro
-
The Women Of Kilobaud Computing Sep 26, 2016 -
-
-
-
-
Recent From Entertainment
-
Dance Music Triple Nov 19, 2016 -
-
-
-
-
Recent Comments