Chichester Cross Wedding
Yesterday – that being the 17th of March, 2011, a Thursday and a St Patrick’s Day all at the same time – saw me continuing my fine (not really) tradition of wandering the streets and walls and precinct of Chichester looking for things of interest to photograph rather than take lunch at my desk in the office at work. It had been a fairly uneventful lunchtime with nothing much of interest to inspire my eyeballs right up until I hit the centre of Chichester’s shopping precinct and the Chichester Cross monument. Usually, the monument is home to people sitting around waiting to meet friends, colleagues, mistresses, tramps, “the youth”, and other such oddities, but yesterday saw a small wedding ceremony take place between people unknown, witnessed by friends and relatives unknown, presided over by a priestly-looking man unknown, and observed by many bemused or happy passersby unknown. Camera phones were out in force and it was taking place in public so I felt justified in taking a few shots myself. The set of photos I took of the wedding at Chichester Cross are on my Flickr account here, and here’s a smattering of pictures...
That Melissa Joan Hart Dream
Let me tell you about last night’s dream: So, Mat, Dan, Phil, and I were in north London late at night. You don’t know Mat, Dan, or Phil (or me for that matter) so insert this picture of four stock people into your innner head story picture instead. There we were. It was a quarter to ten in the evening and I happened to ask Dan what time the last train back to Portsmouth was. He replied that it was at a quarter to eleven, one whole hour away. In the future! “Ah,” I said. “We need to be in south London in one hour. Let’s run!” I think I could tell I was in a dream at this point. I don’t run. Like: ever. We ran. We ran like the wind! The wind in question was a gentle breeze. What I’m saying here is that we more accurately ambled or jogged. It’s probably safer in London. Yes, even the London in your mind. As is the way with dreamy dreams, things took a turn for the inconsistent here as Mat, I, and my wife (I don’t know where she’d come from or what she’d done with Dan and Phil) found ourselves in the lower part of a tower block. We jumped in the elevator. We ascended. It was a swift journey and we reached our destination on the thirty-somethingth floor in seconds. Out we stepped into a small, comfortable office-cum-waiting room with some soft sofas surrounding a low coffee table adorned with magazines. Sitting there were Gia Milinovich and her husband Brian Cox. Naturally. I whipped out my – don’t panic! It’s not one of those dreams! – camera and started taking pictures of the two of them. Naturally. They ignored me. Naturally. It came to pass that Gia, Brian, Mat, my wife, and I went up onto the roof of the tower block. We gazed upon an apocalyptic world. Picture London in ruins, blackened, smoldering, lit nicely with a sombre red glow, and within the confines of an immense cavern. Still, everyone was happy, particularly the various actors and actresses who were milling about on this set. Oh yes, for it was now a post-apocalypse set and the tower block had gone as tower blocks are prone to do in these situations. I sat at a little table overlooking what could best be described as a pit of actors; hundreds of the buggers wandering around, laughing, talking, trying to look Apocalypse Suave. At this point those with whom I’d arrived in Dreamy Disaster London had vanished; it was just me and my camera. Snapping away, I attracted...
The Day BBC News Died
I remember the day that BBC news died just like it was last Saturday. It was last Saturday; Saturday the 12th of March, 2011. It can’t have escaped anyone’s attention that there has been a bit of stuff going on in the world that could be justifiably classified as newsworthy; if you aren’t interested in peaceful social upheaval in northern Africa then we’ve got violent social upheaval in northern Africa for you and if that doesn’t float your boat then we’ve got the possibility of regime changes in the Middle East too or, of course, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, and problems with nuclear reactors all at the same time in Japan. A real treat for the news connoisseur! So, last Saturday morning I sat down with a mug of tea and some freshly-sliced bread, toasted and all ready to have its upwards-facing side slathered with paté, and I switched on BBC News 24 to catch up with the latest news out of Japan. The tsunami had hit the day before yet was still fresh enough to be shown every couple of minutes, but the new and exciting development was an explosion at the Fukushima nuclear power plant. They showed the footage and I ate some toast. Impressive, I thought, and turned to my wife. I remarked that it looked like a build-up of gas had probably blown away the roof of one of the buildings, probably the result of trying to release the pressure in an already-damaged location. “No flames, no mushroom cloud, no real danger,” I added, trying to sound knowledgeable. My wife agreed in silence as she was eating toast too and had decided not to speak with her mouth full after watching a third of my breakfast intake splatter around the room while I demonstrated my scientific insight. BBC News 24 cut back to the studio. The presenter introduced a scientific expert on nuclear reactors and plants and asked him about the footage they and we had just witnessed. Venting, he said, had probably caused a build up of hydrogen gas in the roof of the surrounding structure and, with all the damage from the quake and tsunami it had finally cracked and exploded. He stressed that it probably had had no impact on the nuclear fuel location itself and wasn’t a nuclear explosion, merely an explosion that happened to be in a nuclear facility. A bit like how I’m a man in France when I go to France but I’m not actually a French man, I thought, though refrained from expressing. The presenter looked crestfallen. Radiation will have been spread by this explosion, she pressed on...
Super Science Sunday
It’s Sunday the 6th of March 2011 and if you’re living in the United Kingdom or you have access to our televisual experience on the BBC then you’re in for a treat tonight if you like science. You do like science, don’t you? Of course you do! First up for your scientific joy is the brand new series hosted by Professor Brian Cox, Wonders Of The Universe. This programme goes out on BBC2 and BBC HD at 21:00 (more info). Brian will be talking about time, but not mentioning that at the same time his wife Gia will be on BBC4 in a repeat of her excellent series Electric Dreams… which also features science! That’s like a science overload! But wait! There’s more! Later on in the evening we get to see everyone’s favourite particle physicist Brian appearing on TV again alongside Sir Patrick Moore in the 700th episode of The Sky At Night. That programme will be airing at 23:25 on BBC1 and BBC1 HD. So that’s physics, technology, and lashings and lashings of ginger astronomy for your delectation tonight. And that’s why it’s a Super Science...
Plugging A Sceptical Pleb
In this short post I am plugging a sceptical pleb who has just started a new blog entitled The Sceptical Pleb. Or am I? That’s a sceptical joke there and you’re welcome to it. Now, by plugging I don’t mean in the Italian businessmen-sense of the word. Or do I? That’s the same sceptical joke there and it’s for comedic effect. Said effect requiring a microscope of some description. And I don’t mean plugging as some form of sexual euphemism. Or do I? That’s that sceptical joke popped back up and it’s getting tedious so I’ll stop it now. Or will I? Yes. I’m plugging my friend Matthew’s new blog for three reasons and I’d like to express those reasons using the incredible power of bullet points: sceptical blogs are an important tool in the fight against communism, I’ve known Matthew since we were about five years old and friends don’t let friends start new blogs without plugging them, I want to guilt him into continuing blogging by pointing out that plugs on this site usually retail for almost seventy of Her Majesty’s Imperial Pound Notes, God told me to. So if you like sceptics or plebs, or you’re a sceptic, or a pleb, or you have eyes, or don’t then please pop by The Sceptical Pleb and add it to your RSS reader of choice and...
What I Don’t Like About Christians
Here’s what I don’t like about Christians: I don’t like those beards they have. Beards and no moustaches? What’s that all about? Now those hats are quite funky – a hat is a good thing and more people should wear hats – but that whole no moustache, full beard-look going on is just plain wrong. If God had wanted beards and no moustaches he would have bloody well given men beards and no moustaches. Don’t tell me there’s a passage in the Bible about only using your Gillette Fusion above your lip. And why do Christian men want to marry lots of women at once and call them wifey-sister-daughters or something. Sounds decidedly dodgy to me. Although a troupe of Marie Osmonds does hold a certain appeal; harmonic singing, obviously. Oh, and orgies. But still: I don’t recall Jesus marrying one woman let alone a menagerie of the species. As I recall the chap was pretty fond of hanging around with men more-or-less exclusively. Christians: just hang around with men. Stop marrying lots of women. You know when Christians protest outside churches saying God hates whatever is currently occurring in or nearby? Yeah, well I don’t like that about Christians. Admittedly, your old fictional Jesus fella did cause a bit of a furore in a temple once, so I recall, but it seems he might have had a more genuine reason for it. Which reminds me: Winchester Cathedral! Pay to enter? Get lost! I don’t approve of Christians heading off and forcing indigenous peoples to convert to their version of Imaginary Friend Syndrome. Stop doing that! Those people are most likely perfectly happy without indoctrination, fear, and the always popular Get Out Of Jail Free card that comes with every sin following a short bout of confession. Does believing in wine transforming into the blood of dead Middle Easterners help keep a twisted fronds roof over your jungle head? It does not. When those Christians get together in groups and dress up as ghosty witches it does look pretty cool and a lot of fun but, seriously, haven’t you people heard of regular bonfires and embracing the community? A little thought about safety and integrating with the tanned members of society will go a long way to making those meetings really kick. Exclusionist clubs can cause unrest and no Christian wants that. No Christian wants unrest! I’m not a big fan of people having non-consensual sex because it just seems like that’s bad and not very Christian. With that in mind I think Christians should stop having sex with children because it’s difficult for the little blighters to really...
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