There comes a time in every man’s life when he sits down and compiles a list of the 10 hottest babes of science fiction. It’s not something we can help and, since it’s a pleasurable experience, it’s not something we care to consider controlling either. For me that time has come now. I’m not the first man to do this and I won’t be the last and I won’t pretend that every other man will agree with this list 100% either. But most will. Because it is that good.
Oh, that’s not right. But it is. Tentacles. Hot.
It was very difficult being a woman in the early 80s series of Buck Rogers. How any of them kept from rolling around in hysterics while the corset-wearing, white spandex-apparelled hero tried to hold everything in while sometimes conveying both of his emotions (smiling and not quite smiling) in a single scene beggars belief. Still, the show did feature a string of ladies for Buck to rescue or with whom he could enjoy romantic interludes. Everyone remembers Wilma, of course, but everyone with a functional libido remembers Princess Ardala more. She wasn’t as wet as Wilma, her spaceship was bigger, she was a Princess for freak’s sake. And can anyone say "scantily-clad lust kitten"? Well, I’m thinking it anyway.
Hairy girls are not hot despite what the Germans think so it’s a step in the right direction that Whoopi has no eyebrows. More importantly, though, is that Guinan runs a bar. Can you feel your temperature rising? Yes, that’s the alcohol at work.
What can I say? I like girls with big … hair. Ack ack ack ack ack.
Lexx just oozed sexuality so it would be almost impossible to omit it from any list of science fiction babes or hunks. For the ladies there was Stanley Tweedle and for the manlier sex we had a procession of lovelies to salivate over. I could have picked Zev and her blue pubic hair. I could have picked Xev and her lips to die for. But when it comes to selecting the hottest of the hots it simply must be the luscious Lyekka. She’s a man-eating vegetable in nearly anatomically-correct female form. She can’t get pregnant, can handle herself in a fight, and will be happy with an occasional watering and a fresh growbag every now and then. She’s very nearly perfect.
If you’re one of those people who thinks they’ve never heard of Forbidden Planet then think again! Robbie the Robot? He came from Forbidden Planet. The mystical – and only spoken in hushed tones – "film where Leslie Nielsen isn’t annoying"? Forbidden Planet. William Shakespeare’s The Tempest? Based on Forbidden Planet. But onto the hot babe: Anne Francis. Short dresses are hot. Her upturned nose is incredibly hot. The fact she’s spent a long time on a planet with only her odd father for company is something to be pushed to the back of the mind where it can keep the id company.
Maria is a leader who wants the best for her people and who wants to find the middle road or heart between the brains of society and the muscles. We’ve got strength, we’ve got beauty, we’ve got negotiating instead of sniffing and claiming "No, there’s nothing wrong" before sulking for the next week. Oh yes, and we’ve got not one single word spoken for around two and half hours! Can I hear an "amen"?
I had a choice: cartoon version or film version with Charlize Theron. No. Contest. I don’t like scrawny women. I don’t like thongs. I disapprove of guns. I prefer blondes (because I’m a gentleman (and because my other half might read this (although it’s true anyway sweetheart, really))). I shouldn’t like Æon based on her physical characteristics so it must be her attitude to authority that’s so appealing. And that must mean I’m not shallow and all those shots of her bony behind, long legs spreading, crouching poses, and scantily-dressed physique have had no perverse impact on my psyche. Yay me.
Two mouths. Two of them. We’re talking licking your belly button at the same time or, if you’re really kinky, trombone accompaniment.
Is there anything hotter than a woman’s brain? Yeah, I didn’t think so and that’s why Kate Reid’s portrayal of the only Dr Ruth it’s okay to lust after is number one in my list. She’s smart, she’s opinionated, she’s epileptic. Everything a man needs. She also smokes which is a filthy habit but you know what they say about women who smoke! That’s right! They smell really bad. Also something about oral sex; I forget what exactly but I’m sure it’s good.
And that’s my top ten list of the hottest sci-fi babes of science fiction babedom. Honourable mentions must go out to Pearl Forrester from MST3K and that six-breasted dancer in Jabba’s palace in Return Of The Jedi for their hot attributes of power-crazed ambition and having six breasts respectively.
April 6, 2006
No mention of the frog lady from Ice Pirates with her tongue? For shame!
April 6, 2006
I had no idea Metropolis looked that saucy.I think I’m going to have to go and buy a copy now
April 6, 2006
well I want to see some scifi hunks and Stanley Tweedle had better not be there
April 6, 2006
You forgot what’s-her-name from Contact (you know, the Jodie Foster character) and (obviously) Ensign Ro from Star Trek. Oh god Bajorans oh god oh god.
April 6, 2006
Bajorans? Nope, never did anything for me. And Ro always seemed too haughty and cold. Mirror universe’s Major Kira was a little warmer though. Now, the Andorian women from Enterprise are something else. Built-in deely boppers. Take your date to the roller disco and she’ll fit right in. There’s lovely for you.
April 6, 2006
>We’ve got strength, we’ve got beauty, we’ve got negotiating instead of sniffing and claiming "No, there’s nothing wrong" before sulking for the next week.
beautifully neat summary of the essential difference between a girl (of any age) and a woman. that whole grownup/maturity/nonparasite thing. that whole "shut up" vs "god i want you" thing.
my additional picks:
umm
i actually went out with aeon flux for a month. we had GREAT flux. i like bony if it’s muscle-based rather than starvation-based. but to do that, you have to exercise. haven’t seen it yet in europe. (*moan*) but aeon flux.
aeryn and the blue girl and the blue priestess (née warrior girl in mad max II) off farscape. in particular, i want the body double for the blue priestess’s nude scene. as if it wasn’t already hot as. yummity yum.
andromeda from andromeda.
any of the sexbots in the book "The Silver Eggheads" (which lampooned modern writing in the 50s).
in star trek: 7of9 and that klingon ultratoned babe in the last startrek-0, whatever it was called. first episode of the latter’s series is a must-see for hilarious softporn hook-the-nerds scene in the sweaty shower.
princess ming in flash gordon.
April 6, 2006
oh. barbarella. not just her in particular but ALL of the girls on it.
that predatorily bisexual queen is not low in my thoughts here…
April 7, 2006
"Resistors are fertile"… bwah hah hah haaaaaaa
…
yeah, i see what you mean
April 12, 2006
No Orion Slave Girls? (either series of Star Trek)
April 12, 2006
All of Dr. Who’s lovely assistants, together, on roller skates, in Tesco’s. No wait, Sainsburies – or maybe Waitrose. I shall think on this further and at length.
April 12, 2006
whirlbrain: the problem with a green babe is that thoughts of Kermit can surface at any time. That’s why the Andorians get the nod on my babeometer. My ‘babeometer’ isn’t a euphemism for anything in case you’re wondering.
Frank: your fantasy image has got me hot all under the collar. Tell me: what are Jamie and Adric wearing? And make it detailed.
April 14, 2006
Max (Jessica Alba) outta Dark Angel has gotta count, if Frank is putting Dr Who girls in the running (well OK on skateboards, almost the same thing these days)
N’ wot about Milla Jovovich star ov Resident Evil and the Fifth Element Now she’s hot!
AKA
helpful, dark of the dark, freelance psychiatrist, Taxi Driver, G.E.Treal, V.G Lanty and many others
but not Paul Satanic or Jentinafan, n’ a multitude ov others claiming kinship to the Jentina Clan or sickos like Sobby jobby
Thought I’d save u the trouble Mark or Jack Chic’s tracts have finally got to me and I’ve become born again n’ wish to confess my quadtrilliontrouple life as a web chameleon!
Completely unlikely though (being Chic’saved)
April 16, 2006
Just a quick note to assure you that I am ruminating feverishly over the details and I will report back some time next year.
April 27, 2006
Blimey the BBcode has had to be removed, coz ov retardville’s residents
I think its rather fortunate for the world, that the wheel has already been invented then!
Oh well so much for jessica Alba as the ……… girl in the fantastic four
See if you still had the code box I could use the lightest colour to write ‘invisible’
(I don’t actually know how to programme such formats so I for one found the box usefull)
I notice u can’t leave large blank spaces either
I tried to do a rather weak visual pun by leaving a blank where the word invisible was …err hilarious..did u say? Whats that? Ok Ok I’m getting my coat
April 28, 2006
Retardville has a powerful presence on the web and you ignore it at your peril as I discovered. The impact on my fragile mind at seeing comment after comment littered with orphaned BBCode tags had become too much to bear and I was forced to take steps.
April 26, 2007
Three words:
Bar Ba Rella
May 12, 2007
wow at first i thought this list might be kinda serious but then scrolling dwon i realized wow, these woman are getting nastier and nastier. but hey… i suppose everyone is entitled to there own sci-fi fantasy chick right. maybe the woman from "species" could be on the list where the women are actually cute
June 28, 2007
Cool list, man…
Your tastes may be a little too cerebral as you climb to #one, but the dude obliges…
July 13, 2007
YIKES, how in the world did Whoopi Goldberg make that list — GROSSS! And how could you leave out Milla Jovovich from the Fifth Element and Morena Baccarin, who played Inara Serra in the Firefly series and the movie Serenity. Major hotty. Charisma Carpenter (as Cordelia Chase) from the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel should also be at the top of the list. A valiant effort but you missed some no-brainers, IMHO.
April 5, 2008
Hey, what about sub-commander T’Pol from Enterprise. I don’t care for the plastic boobs, but she does have, as Malcolm Reed said, ‘a nice bum’.
June 10, 2008
OK wow…I wouldn’t call Charlize Theron scrawny, she’s far from scrawny. Theres a lot of women that deserve to be on the list, but nice to see ‘classics’ in there nonetheless. For example, Lucy Lawless (Xena, Battlestar Galactica).
July 11, 2008
What about Sybil Danning as Saint Exmin, the Valkyrie in Battle Beyond the Stars. There wasn’t a teenage boy in the 80s without a frantic left wrist after watching that.
August 30, 2008
Princess Leia gold bikini mean ne thing?!!
August 31, 2008
Yes, it means she wasn’t in the top ten. Look at number 9 instead. It’s a princess, she’s in front of a large mass of a creature, she’s in a bikini too. Why’s she better than Leia? Because she dances with Gil Gerard.
She dances with Gil Gerard!
What’s Leia got that can better that? Well, she kisses her own brother once. Sure, it’s got an Angeline Jolie vibe to it but, frankly, that’s sick. And if you put Leia above Ardala then, well, clearly Mace salespeople need to get to the female members of your family and quick. I’m not saying only perverted sexual deviants would rank Leia above Ardala but actually I am.
November 13, 2008
Eva Habbermann was the nicest in Lexx by far.
January 11, 2010
ohhh, girl in leather dress, dr Who companion, Laila? Leela! Woohoo!
April 21, 2010
Alright, in the truly hot babes section: Princess Leia. Every non-brainless man’s wet dream from a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away to this day here on earth. She has the wits, the looks, and the commanding charisma of a true princess, not one of those disney losers.
Also, in the "six-boobs-category", Jabba the Hutt’s twi-lek dancer who sadly gets killed almost as soon as she appears in the movie. Can you imagine a tentacle-job from someone like her? I sure can.
Lastly mad props to you for having Maria from Metropolis on the list. In addition to her negotiating and lovable being, I find the fake-Maria’s insanity kind of a turn-on. Give me a girlfriend who’s Maria on the street, but fake-maria in bed, and I’ll be in a nerd’s heaven.
October 10, 2010
just thought I’d let you know that I’m a twat and that my ip address is 86.130.127.251 and that I came to this site looking for erotic sci-fi pictures of Whoopi Goldberg.
November 28, 2010
Overall a good list, but the Tucana Singers from the original Battlestar Galactica series? Those things used to give me the creeps when I was a kid, just like the multi-faced creatures at the top of the Ivory Tower in The Neverending Story.
BTW – The main Tucana Singer was played by Sylvia Browne.
November 14, 2011
Jessica from Logan’s Run (played by Jenny Agutter). Hottest babe from a movie full of hot babes (and they’re all dressed in micro-length totally-sideless tunics). I’m sure we’ve all seen Logan’s Run, but seeing as nobody has nominated Jessica yet, I suggest it’s time to see it again. It also has a cameo by Farrah Fawcett Majors.
Another nomination from the 70s is Charlotte Rampling from Zardoz. Since the plot is a totally incomprehensible mishmash about immortals suffering from erectile dysfunction or something like that, there are only two reasons to watch Zardoz: It starts Sean Connery, and it has Charlotte Rampling (who, when she’s wearing anything above the waist, it’s basically a bra made out of a net).
I would also like the second the nomination for Barbarella, and also second the statement that the Tucana Singers from Galactica freak me out. Yuck!
December 16, 2011
Clearly missing the 3-breast babe from Total Recall – guess nothing’s hotter in my opinion.
And Oola? And Leia in her Slave Dress?