If there’s one thing that writing my Pictures Of Jentina article back in June of 2004 has taught me it’s that I’m not that bad at optimising my site and content in order to draw people in, people like to see pictures of celebrities (artistic licence for use of the word "celebrities";bear with me), and children these days are uncapable of spelling. Okay, that’s three things. And uncapable was deliberate.
Anyway, hot on the heels of that Jentina post (or nearly a year later if you want to get all technical and accurate about it) comes the next in my thrilling series: Pictures Of Semi-Famous People ‘N’ 100% True Facts ‘N’ Stuff. It was a difficult choice selecting a new beneficiary for this series but in the end I chose Lady Sovereign. There were a number of reasons why I chose Lady Sovereign but the main one was an attempt to stop people still leaving comments on the Jentina article: it’s been eleven months people! Stop it already! I know most of you couldn’t spell if your life depended on it but I was harbouring a small hope that you knew what dates were, what they looked like, and in what approximate order they tended to appear.
So, on with this entry where I’ve promised to show Lady Sovereign pictures and reveal information about the diminutive singer never before revealed or even made up!
FACT: Lady Sovereign was raised by a family of magicians in London’s beautiful ghetto of Wembley. A fully paid-up member of the magic circle to this day, she uses many of the tricks she has been taught from an early age to distract and entertain people, the most notable being always standing behind a convex lens to appear larger than her true 2’7" frame.
FACT: Lady Sovereign and Jentina are locked in an eternal struggle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, shellsuits versus tracksuits, Wiley-Kit versus Wiley-Kat, Knight Rider versus Are You Being Served? They meet every Saturday night and wrestle in mud with razor blade-studded mittens but nobody is allowed to watch. I have a secret video though but it makes me feel funny when I watch it and I couldn’t possibly share it with a stranger.
FACT: Although she is not allowed to drive a car for security reasons (and because boxes strapped to the feet, while amusing in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, are frowned upon by Her Majesty’s traffic police), Lady Sovereign is permitted to take her fleet of dirigibles out whenever she wants. Last year she fell through a timehole above Harrods and helped to defend London from an air raid by the dastardly hun.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Basement Jaxx. She bought one of their t-shirts.
FACT: Quite often people will visit neOnbubble while trying to find the lyrics to "Sad Arse Strippa" or one of several hundred other spelling variants. You won’t find them on this site. I’m not sure if the song was ever released properly and it’s a shame if that’s the case because there simply aren’t enough tracks in the music charts with arse in the title. Roy Orbison’s 1977 success with "Breakin’ Up All Night Blue Arse" is a notable exception.
FACT: Lady Sovereign would receive more traffic to her website if she was called "Lady Sovrin". Seriously. How many of her fans do you think can actually spell her name? There’s a silent ‘g’ in there! A silent ‘g’! Kids these days have trouble spelling loud letters let alone silent ones.
FACT: The next song to be released as a single by Lady Sovereign will be "9 To 5". It is a reworking of the Dolly Parton song used in the film of the same name. Sov is a big fan of the country and western singer’s and would like to open her own themepark, just like Dolly, in the future. It will possibly be called This Is Lady Sovereign’s Themepark Please Come In but that’s just a working title.
FACT: Lady Sov’s favourite television channel is CNN. She gets all the ideas for her songs from watching the news headlines. Recent track "Random" was about the uprising and violent quelling of protests in Uzbekistan, whereas earlier track "Shhh!" was inspired by trying to watch the stock exchange ticker scroll along the bottom while an anchorman talked about farming subsidies for Argentinian gauchos.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Dizzee Rascal. He mistook her for a footstool.
FACT: It’s very difficult for Lady Sovereign to go out in public without being mobbed or asked for an autograph or asked if she wants to buy some lighters, three for a pound. Subsequently, she spends most of her time in a hole under her mum’s house. She is fed through a straw and allowed one magazine a week but no more otherwise she gets overexcited and it’s impossible to get her to sleep.
FACT: Her best experience while touring occurred last year backstage at a festival when she spotted Justin Timberlake and Donny Osmond playing a table tennis doubles match against N.W.A.’s Eazy-E and Paris Hilton. Eazy’s death in 1995 lends credence to the theory that she was standing too close to the freshly-painted Oasis enclosure at the time.
FACT: There is quite possibly a wealth of information about the star and her fans on the Lady Sovereign Forum but you will need better eyesight than me to be able to read any of it. It hurts! Make the pain stop!
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported D12. She waved a placard proclaiming their innocence in the bombing of a group of nuns that took place in China.
FACT: Many people will probably be looking for new pictures of Lady Sovereign when they visit this page and will be disappointed that there is nothing of value here; I’m sorry but that’s pretty much the point of this site. I have no doubt that many understandable perverts will be after nude photos of the singer too. To all these people I can only apologise this far into the article too safe in the knowledge none of you are probably reading it.
FACT: To get her distinctive singing style Lady Sovereign spent six months living with zebras in a zoo in El Salvador. She later claimed that she had been kidnapped and held for ransom by La Hachaduran freedom fighters but this was just to earn street cred. Really, she just wanted to sing like the zebras do.
FACT: Mike Skinner of The Streets is reputedly a fan of Lady Sovereign. He has photos of her all over the back of his toilet door. And that’s not all he has on the back of his toilet door if you know what I mean! Huh?! Huh?! He also has a coat hook and a handle that, when turned, opens the door and allows him to leave.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Obie Trice. She comforted him after the death of his woodlouse Bernard.
December 4, 2006
yo yo miss lady sovereign you is the king with all dat bing bling xx love you girl xx
December 14, 2006
hey s.o.v
ur my fav u r the best i luv ya songs and u. ur awesome.i cant stop thinking of u. id do anything just to see u in real life
ur the best s.o.v NO.111111
kassi
December 14, 2006
lady sov u r awesome i luv u by the way its kassi again.plz can i have ur msn addy .and louise is my middle name u r so kool i luv u sov.
luv ya!!!!!!!
kassi
December 16, 2006
I don’t think it’s nice of this site to be hating on people like this. You people don’t really know who Lady Sov is so, it would be nice if you got off her back. I don’t know her personally, but I know that she probably wouldn’t appreciate this nonsense. Find another hobby, and maybe realize that she is nothing like you say she is. So, get real!
December 17, 2006
Fender – this site isn’t "hating on people", it’s having a bit of a laugh. Far from Sov not appreciating this nonsense, she’s actually seen it and posted the comment on Thursday 26th May 2005, 11:53 where she said "LOL .. Joker". We choose not to get real around here; getting real is so 1994.
December 20, 2006
lady s.o.v is sfe man no1 culd otdo er she is fkin klas
December 22, 2006
Lady s is fkin mense dnt no wat some ppl r on bout jus coz their jealous coz she is famous and there not lady s ure sound
December 27, 2006
Grime music has good beats.
December 29, 2006
YO YO YO …THIS ANGELICA AKA NENA…COMMIN THROUGH ALL THE WAY FROM MADISON WISCONSIN IN THE US REPPIN THAT 608 U KNOW HOW IT IS….JUST STPIN BY TO SAY….IM SOV’S BIGGEST FAN AINT NO BODY GONNA TAKE MY PLACE………ALL HATERZ FALL BACK ON THIS FEMAIL FOSHO…. U IS WAZ UP RIGHT NOW U NEED TO COME KICK IT IN THE U.S IN MADISON WISCONSIN IF NOT MILLWAKEE….FOSHO FOSHO…..KEEP DOIN YO THING IM OUT! PC3
December 30, 2006
yo yo yo it’s ya girl ladyqueen A*K*A quin or treceypooh i love u lady soverign i really love yo music especially love me or hate me but i have one ques why did u do yo video with tetris i was laughing through the entire video . that was the most funniest video that i have seen in my whole life.I LOVE YOU LADY SOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 1, 2007
lady sovereign is a smoker and a drinker i like her but not as much as i used too
hey lady sovereign stop smoking and drinking
January 3, 2007
happy new yr every1
January 3, 2007
y shud she stop smoking and drinking just becoz u said so..
January 4, 2007
she shuld stop smokin n drinkin cos its dangerous for her she might hav cancer now who knows lol
January 4, 2007
hey ppl names enoch i like lady soverighns new song love me or hate me its a kl sng o ye ma syte is http://www.enoch4real222.piczo.com
January 5, 2007
Hey YO PPL, WATZ UP?
January 5, 2007
LADY SOV, U ROX ME SOCKS….
January 5, 2007
lady sov be interesting, but me heard she bit off a baby’s jumbit on a dare… quite strange really. plus me friend reggie (who’s a real player) said she avoids sleeping with men b/c her female undercarraige never fully developed and it is extremely painful. jah.
January 7, 2007
lady sovereign ur sick yeh! keep it up!
January 9, 2007
Oh my gosh! Ladee! I love u so so much! I idolize u cuz…ur british! Nine times out of ten u dont see a british girl rapper! Today, (Janurary 9, 2007) I had a proffessional do my hair just like urs! She had the braid and everything! I showed her the pictures of u and bam! i think u will become the next bigg thing! so far. only me and someone else no about u but as the looks to me i think every1 is starting to hear u!
January 13, 2007
You people need to realize this is the real world. Sovereign isn’t a hard word to spell, she isn’t pathetic, and she isn’t that bad. I could tell you plenty of things that are good about her. Unlike over half of the world’s singers, Lady Sovereign isn’t a fakey. She doesn’t lipsynk, make up a personality, or get any of those ‘plastic surgeries’ that people say are so needed. You go right ahead and keep on making these worthless as dirt rumors up and I will keep laughing at your immature and pathetic ways of photomanips that you made up to make everyone think she is a shiddy singer.
F you all!
January 17, 2007
Hmmmm, Yo SOV dude U gotta Come 2 Australia, I’d do anyfin’ 2 C U, YA no wat I mean, Anywayz,
Lottsa Lurve,
Aussies biggest fan.
January 18, 2007
God, that stuff is mean! All of this is rumors and bullcrap! She is just making it in the U.S. Just because she is different from us doesn’t mean you can pick at her!
January 20, 2007
ur propa wiked if uv gt msn put mi adi in cooling789@hotmail.co.uk i think ur propa swnd n da song luv me or hate me iz mint so put mi adi in plz thn 🙂 n go on mi website n sign evryfin lol its http://www.matovs26.piczo.com plz plz plz
January 28, 2007
ur wiked sov
January 28, 2007
i think ur wiked
January 28, 2007
soz didnt mean to send so many
January 28, 2007
make way for the s-o-vvvvv!!!
February 5, 2007
WAZZ GOODIE I REALLY DON’T KNOW 2 MUCH ABOUT LADY SOVEREIGN I HERD ABOUT HER THRU FAMILY AND FRIENDS CUZ I HAVE TONS OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT WE LOOK JUST ALIKE I HAD TO FIND OUT FOR MY SELF AND ITS NOT ONLI CRAZY BUT SCARY CUZ NOT ONLY DO WE LOOK ALIKE BUT WE DRESS AND DO OUR HAIR ALIKE SO LADY SOV I’M NOT UP ON UR MUSIC YET BUT SO FAR U KNOW WAZZ POPPIN KEEP IT GULLI ITE CHO
February 6, 2007
Every time I come to this post I die just a little inside.
February 6, 2007
It is fun to read isn’t it? I’ll definitely be carrying this post and comment thread across to the new version of the site.
February 19, 2007
!!!@@@
February 20, 2007
yo sov your bars R sick girl and ur fit as fck so keep it real. clacton WOT
February 22, 2007
haii lady sovereign gr8 picz lol wubu2.
reubenl.f.c@hotmail.co.uk
February 22, 2007
u r my space syt iz gr8 lol.gr8 music lol plz add my msn reubenl.f.c@hotmail.co.uk
March 1, 2007
MAN YOU CRACK ME UP I AN YOUR #1 FAN I EVEN HAVE YOU ON MY BACKGROUND ON MY LABTOP BYE!!
March 3, 2007
lady sovereign is the best midget in the game 😀 i like she and her songs
sov rulez
gez: German for live
March 3, 2007
sov you are the best plz post your msn addy here ^^
public warning is the best cd of the world =)
love you and your songs
March 7, 2007
sov ive gt u on ma back ground i love ya to da max!!!! ithink you da bst rapstar inda game no matta wot luv ya love ya luv ya loadz!!!!!!!!!! ya NUMBER 1 FAN!!!!!
March 11, 2007
u iz da real tik! ya lyrics mean raw fings man but da impact iz real. stick by it! X
March 13, 2007
lady soverign is censored who thinks shes biat what? when she int integer?!!!! she orta grow up tha lil gangsta wannabe!!!!
March 26, 2007
Lady Sovereign, you are the F*CK!NG BOMB!!!!!! I LOVE YOU……AND your music……yeah girl, just keep on laughin’ @ those Damn haters, cuz what they really don’t know is that even though by hatin’ on you they think they’re bringin’ you down, they’re really what keeps you movin’ on!!!!!!Oh,and ye I am definetely aware that you hear this alot,but,I AM YOUR’E #1 F*CK!NG FAN!!!!!! P.S. I THINK YOU ARE SEXY AS A MOTHER F*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love,your biggest fan,Teighlor Oh, -n- can you PLEASE Send me a friend request on myspace??!!!?!?!?!!! My URL:www.myspace/iluvjessicarees69.com THANX!!!
April 6, 2007
Lady Soverign, you rock. We love all your songs and especially your hair. Don’t ever change and don’t listen to all the haters. PEACE.
April 6, 2007
Ok i have something to say: If some of you peole hate her soo much then why do you waste your time looking at her. Obviously you do like her because i know that if i hated her i would’nt talk or even think about her. THINK BOUT IT. Retards.
April 9, 2007
F**K ALL U PEOPLE HU DONT HAVE RESPECT FOR SOVEREIGN UR WASTE UR GIVING IT ALL THE MOUTH BUT U WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY IT TO HER FACE COS U’L NO U GET MASHED.
sov ur a gr8 mc take no s**t from these people x
April 10, 2007
Im luvin lady sov!!! she completely rocks! my m8s h8 u but i told dem where to go!!!! Sov people who give u crap r losers
April 11, 2007
I Lurveee Lady Sov She A Sickkk MC!!! Ma Mum Gettin Me Ticketz 22 Go See Her!!!!! Has Any One Heard The Song About Jenita If Yuu Av Woz It Calledd loool xx
May 2, 2007
Went here to see if she had nudes 😉 and so alot of shit said. She’s tryin to make it. Ya she’s thrown from the brain chain but she’s got a hook. All I can say is go for the gold sweetheart… And I wanna squeeze your boobies.
Anyone wanting to chat it up bout anything drop me a line on myspace
"altered ego"
May 11, 2007
she is bruuuuuuup
May 19, 2007
These facts are the greatest thing I have ever seen. Excluding the short, pale masterpeice that is SOV herself, of course.