Scientists In Movies
Do you like scientists? Do you like movies? Do you like scientists in movies? Oh. Sorry, then. Anyhoo … can you identify the scientists and the movies in which the scientists have been cleverly (I’m taking a course in blowing my own trumpet) placed? #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6...
An Interview With Ray Comfort
Never let it be said that I’m anything but fair. Many, many moons ago I conducted an interview with then-doctor-now-heap-big-better-than-doctor Brian Cox and we discussed matters of science, said science being a subject very close to my heart as I have it on good authority that certain sciencey things occur in its vicinity; biology, chemistry, and physics (yeah, the big three!) apparently. Another subject close to my heart is religion – I once snagged my nipple on a rosary – and, till now, I’ve neglected to complement my interview of one of science’s finest with one of religion’s finest. Or nearly finest. Or adequatest. Or he’ll-doest. Website, let me now introduce you to Ray Comfort, kiwi by birth (not the species), evangelical minister, opponent of science’s rational explanation of evolution, and author of You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can’t Make Him Think. ME: Ray, I’ve finally given in and taken up your challenge to interview you but declined your more-than-generous offer of ten thousand recitations of the commandments as evidence for whatever’s in your head. Welcome to this little crook of the internet. RAY: Thank you for finally listening to me; many people don’t. And please, call me The Raymeister. ME: Let me just draw your attention to paragraph one, sentence one of the interview contract I drew up and you signed where it says "I’m not calling you The Raymeister." RAY: Whatever. ME: Don’t do that with your fingers; teenagers do that. Let’s start. Why don’t we begin with man’s descent from apes? What’s not to like about the fossilised and genetic evidence as uncovered by your archnemeses People Who’ve Actually Studied This Stuff? RAY: We’ve all seen the picture, right? There’s man and before him is an apeman and before him is an apeman laboratory assistant with a hunch and/or rickets and before that is an ape and before that is a monkey, yes? It looks sensible on the face of it and sure, there are all these ancient bones to back it up and the suspiciously difficult to see DNA which they claim supports it all. But ask yourself this: why does it stop at monkey? Why don’t they keep going back? Smaller monkey then tiny monkey then monkey insect and monkey bacterium? Why not? Because it’s ridiculous and all made up and they know it. Booya! ME: How would you respond to this statement by website interviewer me, right now?: just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean that it is wrong; it could be right whilst, simultaneously, you might just not get it through either a lack of mental capability...
Can We Make A Star On Earth?
A quick reminder to viewers in the UK that friend of this site (*) Professor Brian Cox will be appearing on Horizon on BBC2 and BBC HD (**) tonight at 9pm (***) where he will be looking into nuclear fusion and asking the question "Can we make a star on Earth?" (****) in a northern accent that has a bizarrely-powerful soporific effect on my wife and will be just the ticket before bed (*****). If you’re outside the UK and that video doesn’t display then … … now you know how I feel every time one of you American buggers embeds something from bloody Hulu. And remember, there’s plenty more Professor Brian Cox-related information on this very site: there’s the exclusive interview with the scientist himself or the list of his early television appearances or even the secret video where he breaks down in tears and admits he’s never really understood the difference between an up and a strange quark (******). Footnotes: (*) Your definition of "friend of this site" and mine may differ. (**) See grey hairs and wrinkles like never before in glorious high definition! (***) Set your V+ to record if you’re watching Battlestar Galactica. (****) Spoiler alert: no. (*****) Assuming you’re going to bed just to sleep, wink, wink (*******). (******) Removed pending High Court ruling. (*******) We...
British Creationists
Disclaimer: This article is primarily addressed to Creationists, whether British or not. It’s quite lengthy and some of the words contain more than three syllables. I freely admit that this will be barely read, let alone comprehended by those for whom it is intended. Also, every insult comes with a money-back guarantee if you’re not completely satisfied but please seek the help of an adult with untaping your child-proof safety mittens before attempting to issue a complaint. The BBC recently published an online magazine article that exposed the shameful, shameful secret we’ve been trying to suppress for a long time in Britain. I’m very sorry to say this but … yes, it’s true. Britain has its fair share of complete morons too. Creationists – as everyone with greater than eight brain cells is aware – choose to ignore evidence in favour of stories. Not new stories either. Old ones. Very old ones. Less than ten thousand years old, however. You know, because the Universe didn’t exist before that. The starry backdrop was still on backorder. The designer was still trying to decide between fossilised remains of giant lizards and a Dear John letter from a sentient, multi-dimensional millipede. Yeah, not that old obviously. Now, stories are great things. I’d love to believe in some stories too. Harry Turtledove has some books where reptilians fight during World War 2. Extermination of the Jews … or reptiles shooting at French resistance fighters? I know which one I’d like to believe in but there appears to be this little thing called evidence which indicates I’m shit out of luck. Do Creationists believe in King Arthur? And I mean everything about King Arthur too. Witches, wizards, magic swords, mermaids? The possibility of witches, wizards, and mermaids all living in Britain just a few hundred years ago is awesome! Rather unlikely, however, what with all that "lack of any supporting evidence". Anyone found a female skeleton holding a sword in a lake? What about a pointy hat with "Merlin" sewn in it? An old, round table with "Galahad woz ‘ere" scrawled into the top? Not even that? Clearly, Creationists are picky about which stories they believe in. They are stupid, yes, but it’s a special kind of stupid being exposed. There is a wilful choice being made: of any two options pick the one with the smallest or simplest words. Excalibur … or myth? Myth’s shorter. Evolution … or God? Hell, God’s only got three letters! Nothing’s going to beat that! But back to the topic at hand: British Creationists. I’d like to talk to some of them. The BBC article allows some comments...
Professor Brian Cox TV Appearances
In recent weeks – because of his role as one of the scientists working at CERN with the Large Hadron Collider, because of his bitchslapping of the alleged President of the British Association of the "Advancement" of "Science", Sir David King on Newsnight, and because I interviewed the man several years ago before he was uber-famous – this site has seen a surge in search queries looking for information about Professor Brian Cox. Is he gay? Is he married? Is he married to a gay? And so on. Well, I know the answers to all those questions but I’m not going to address them here. Before he was a professor, before he was even a mere doctor, and before he performed with D:Ream, Brian Cox was a child actor who appeared on TV and in print many times in the United Kingdom throughout the 1970s and early 1980s. If you’re of a certain age then you might just remember growing up with Brian but if you need reminding then I’ve collected some of his more well-known youth appearances for your delectation. Here Come The Double Deckers, 1970 Brian is front left Brian was one of the original cast of cult children’s television programme Here Come The Double Deckers, playing the troublemaker Spotter. His role was quickly replaced by that of Sticks the American in order to pander to a wider audience. A little-known fact about Brian is that he developed a fixation with the London bus featured in the series and spent many years looking for it on the roads of Britain. These days, however, after receiving a box set of Jimbo and the Jet Set one Christmas, he confesses he is more likely to spend hours at airports wistfully gazing into the sky. The Tomorrow People, 1976 Brian is far right Season four of terrifying children’s sci-fi series The Tomorrow People introduced Brian in the role of telepath Mike, a working-class telepath with a criminal background. Viewers were unconvinced by Brian’s Cockney-cum-Mancunian accent and flooded popular magazines of the day such as Look-in with complaints. After his contract was not renewed Brian vowed to never buy Look-in again. And he never did. Rainbow, 1977 Brian is front right In addition to appearing in several episodes during the 1976 and 1977 seasons of Rainbow Brian also featured alongside Rod and Jane on an album of songs either from or inspired by the series including tracks such as "Where’s Your Other Hand George?" and "Gettin’ Zippy Wit’ It". What isn’t widely known is that Brian also filled in for Bungle on one of the episodes when the actor in question...
Allergies
Reproduced with permission from the neOnbubble Know You Some Science series of student learning guides. What Is An Allergy? Despite God’s best attempts at designing the human body it, quite frankly, sucks big time and is riddled with flaws. One of the most common problems with the human body is the immune system which is supposed to protect the body from harmful substances and diseases but which also sporadically attacks itself in a dazzling display of incompetence, an action which if spotted in a bear mauling itself, for example, would lead to a humane rifle shot through the skull. When the body goes a little loco it activates mast cells and basophils – normally dormant white cell types responsible for expanding the body’s many organs to counter deep sea pressures; a genetic relic from our evolutionary ancestry as oceanic floor kestrels – and this causes inflammation and increasing pharmacy profits. What Types Of Allergic Reaction Are There? Allergic reactions range from the minor – itches, the sniffles, and ear-picking – to the downright fatal – fatal itches, fatal sniffles, and fatal ear-picking. Doctors cannot distinguish between fatal and non-fatal forms of allergies until after the allergy-sufferer has died and can only determine the exact fatal allergic reaction from whether the corpse’s fingers are wedged under its armpits, up its nose, or in its auditory canal up to the knuckle. Do You Have An Allergy? Thanks for caring! Yes, I am allergic to prolonged contact to steel, whether surgical or stainless. This means, for example, that I must only be sold in aluminium cans once mankind gets a taste for my meaty goodness and that any machete wounds must be sealed using velcro. On a daily basis it means that I must make use of sundials to tell the time rather than relying on wrist watches and their allergy-unfriendly steel backs, straps, and batteries. Why Are Nut Allergy Sufferers Not All Rounded Up And Shot? That’s a good question. For too long the minority of humankind who swell up and explode whenever a peanut is forcibly inserted under their eyelids have dictated to the rest of us how we should live our lives. Peanut warnings on packs of peanuts and the removal of the chocolate-coated peanut from packs of Revels – to replace it with the abomination that is the raisin! The raisin! Nobody wants shrivelled fruit in their chocolate confectionery! – are too much and a stand needs to be taken now! To save on bullets packets of peanuts should now be forced to carry the wording "No Peanuts Here, Peanut-Free, Honestly" prominently. A message should be sent to...
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