You're viewing the archived site. This is a snapshot of the site as it existed up until April 2017. To view the live site click here.
Fashion Faves – Auguste Abeliunaite
Jan08

Fashion Faves – Auguste Abeliunaite

Marie Claire Italia Photographed by Taki Bibelas; model Auguste Abeliunaite; clothing and accessories by Roccobarocco, Bottega Veneta, Gucci, MaxMara, Ralph Lauren Collection, Ermanno Scervino, , Miu Miu, Gucci, Cesare Paciotti, Fendi, Etro, Emporio Armani, Calvin Klein Collection, Yves Saint Laurent, Krizia Top, Borsalino, Christian Louboutin, Fogal, Jean Paul Gaultier. An unconventional dark, cold, gothic shoot at the beach works nicely thanks to some excellently subdued lighting and eerie loneliness of the surrounding area. Gaultier’s asymmetric trench coat in the photo featured above looks particularly classy on...

Read More
More Vintage Slug Adverts
Apr23

More Vintage Slug Adverts

If I know you one tenth as well as I think I know you then I think I know you at least three times more than enough to know that if there’s one thing you can’t get enough of then that’s even more vintage slug-based advertising. Sure, you liked it when I showed you my collection of slug adverts from yesteryear before (Vintage Slug Advertising) but that just wasn’t quite enough for you. Oh no! You want more! More! More! What do you think I am? Made of slugs? Well… seeing as you’re you and I’m me… oh, go on!… I’ll treat...

Read More
Entrecard Advert Design
Feb25

Entrecard Advert Design

I’ve been a member of Entrecard for some time; it’s a fairly decent way (if you have the time) to find interesting sites more-or-less at random and at the same time drive a little traffic your way in the hope that you’ll interest other, new visitors in return. So long as you keep your content short and aimed at the lowest common denominator, that is. Oh, those rapid-fire Entrecard droppers don’t like your long posts, no sirree. Part of the "joy" (and by "joy" I mean "occasionally butt-clenching, stomach-churning, jaw-locking, eye-popping momentary flash of terror") of Entrecard is the variety of user-created adverts for their own websites. Some of them are very bad indeed. And most of the rest are worse than that. Parental Instincts With my personal opinion of kids in general I’m not entirely certain that this really is a bad card design. The site and caption are Parental Instincts and, if I’m seeing the selected picture correctly, the apparent instinct being demonstrated and promoted on this site is "to punch your child in the face until it loses most of the skin around the mouth." I’m not a parent but I do know the sentiment. My Beautiful Creations Every parent thinks their ugly, noisy, stinking creation is the most beautiful and precious thing in the world despite all evidence to the contrary and something similar apparently applies to the piece of art and craftwork chosen to advertise this particular site. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but a two-headed, anaemic monstrosity with a superfluous third arm would surely have even the most beauty-appreciating beholder crossing his or her fingers even as he or she purported to find it positively lovely. Are You Hungry? Not after seeing that picture, no. I don’t know much about food and drink but I’ll tell you what doesn’t get my tastebuds tingling and my stomach growling with gastronomic anticipation: black coffee and a handful of tomatoes. Welcome To My … An advert should reflect something about the site; it might reference the site’s name; it might illuminate some aspect of the site’s content; a person should look at an advert and have some clue as to what to expect should clicking occur in the near future. Maybe it’s just me though, but I don’t like looking at an advert and thinking: "What in the name of all that’s holy does that say?" Welcome to my … Gatres? That’s not a word. Custard? Not enough letters. Ooh! Garter! No, no that’s not it. Galnet? A net for gals! I bloody hope so … oh … nope. Computer Aid If I...

Read More
Religious Perfume
Oct22

Religious Perfume

I recently read about The Pope’s Cologne, a fragrance for men who wish to smell just like a man in a dress in times of plague. And who wouldn’t? As many people will know, I’m a collector of vintage magazines and I’m particularly fond of adverts in particular as they demonstrate a fascinating snapshot into the banality of life in decades past, so it is probably no surprise to learn that men’s and women’s fragrances based on religious themes is hardly new at all. Holy Spirit (1973) When Rochas tapped into the religious market looking to smell religiousy with Holy Spirit it took the bold step of edging away from traditional floral bases in the scent and instead picked upon some specific elements from the Bible in order to more strongly appeal to fundamentalist Christian women, a key demographic at the time. The piquancy of the warm bread undertone mixed with the musky palm notes was generally agreed upon to be both innovative and very pleasant but the decision to blend in two distinct fish aromas was the most likely cause of the perfume’s catastrophic market failure. Even after Holy Spirit was removed from shelves and ceased production Rochas refused to confirm the exact fish species used although it is widely accepted that the religious fragrance lacked sole. Seventy-2 (1969) Seventy-2 was directed at the young, white, suburban, fanatical, Islamic, would-be suicide bombers prevalent in middle America towards the end of the 1960s. The moral claims of the producers of Seventy-2 – that it "might help prevent unnecessary bloodshed and tragedy, and simultaneously help to make America smell wonderful again" – were overshadowed by some of the sales tactics used to sell the range of men’s toiletries (free dynamite, Death To America workshops, etc.) and the company was forced to close down and disappear quietly with the help of the FBI in, ironically, February of ’72. Rapture (1925) Ludwig Scherk was not only a manufacturer of cosmetic products during the 1920s but also a self-proclaimed prophet, and his release of a range of women’s fragrances entitled Rapture was – he claimed – because he could see the end coming very soon and wanted the good Christian housewives of America to be the first to travel the clouds while the Earth was destroyed. History shows us that Scherk was partly correct; his business did come to an abrupt and fiery (literally) end during the Great Depression that began a few years later. However, the return of Jesus was fortunately cancelled and those women who purchased and doused themselves in Rapture never got to impress anyone other than Ludwig’s bank manager...

Read More
Make Your Own Beermat
Sep20

Make Your Own Beermat

Have you ever wanted your very own beermat just like the ones you see in pubs? Just follow the easy steps below and you’ll have your own beermat in no time! What You’ll Need Cardboard A sharp knife Glue Making The Beermat 1. Using a sharp knife, carefully cut out the beermat image above from the screen. 2. Use the beermat image as a template and cut around it carefully on the cardboard. 3. Glue the image to the cardboard you have cut out then wait for the glue to set. And that’s all there is to it! If you want to make any more beermats simply refresh this...

Read More
Discontinued Food And Drink
Aug30

Discontinued Food And Drink

Quite often when I’m shopping I fly into a terrible rage in the middle of the aisle and require horse tranquiliser injections stat! in order to prevent me from tearing the heads off Asda employees or swinging old women around by their pendulous breasts until the fabric of their skin gives up and their mammary-free torsos are sent discus-style over the refrigerated food section and into the pizza preparation area. Frequently this is as a result of abysmal staff training that missed out the part about "you move out of the way and let the customer go where they want rather than force them to stop and wait for you to wander through chatting with your colleagues about Sharon’s odd-smelling crotch rash" or the culmination of one-too-many inconsiderate trolley-parking episodes. However, sometimes it’s because of something more baffling and irritating altogether: missing or changed food. Cheez-Ums flavoured Pringles: gone. Walkers tangy cheese dip: gone. Roast chicken and garlic quiche: gone. Chicken and sweetcorn pie: gone. Pork and egg roll slices: completely changed the taste and texture for a laugh. Chicken and mushroom pasties: new snigger "improved" flavour. As part of my court-ordered rehabilitation process I am required to investigate other foodstuffs that have been withdrawn from sale over the years to prove that it’s not all a conspiracy to wind me up by checking what I buy regularly. Radish-Cola America’s flirtation with all things Armenian in the late 1940s saw that country’s bestselling carbonated drink reach the United States and knock Coke and Pepsi off their pedestals briefly. A pan-European radish blight that tainted supplies was to be the innovative new cola’s downfall however, and it never recovered its position although the drink is still popular in New Mexico. Pre-Chewed Sunday Roast In the late 1950s a combination of unhealthy McCarthyist ant-Communist paranoia and post-war wealth which made Americans think they could buy sophistication encouraged Green Giant to start producing pre-chewed meals, canned for freshness. The convenience was a hit with consumers but a scare in 1961 when over a hundred chewers at a factory in Minnesota were struck down by Lyme disease was enough to end the flirtation with mushed food. Kentucky Fried Rat A number of urban legends had sprung up by the late 1960s concerning rats gettings into fast food outlets and becoming part of the menu unexpectedly. Never one to miss an opportunity, Kentucky Fried Chicken turned these rumours to their advantage by actively adding rat to the menu. Although the production run of Kentucky Fried Rat was short-lived, because of the prevalence of rodents the KFR remains to this day one of the fast...

Read More