If there’s one thing that writing my Pictures Of Jentina article back in June of 2004 has taught me it’s that I’m not that bad at optimising my site and content in order to draw people in, people like to see pictures of celebrities (artistic licence for use of the word "celebrities";bear with me), and children these days are uncapable of spelling. Okay, that’s three things. And uncapable was deliberate.
Anyway, hot on the heels of that Jentina post (or nearly a year later if you want to get all technical and accurate about it) comes the next in my thrilling series: Pictures Of Semi-Famous People ‘N’ 100% True Facts ‘N’ Stuff. It was a difficult choice selecting a new beneficiary for this series but in the end I chose Lady Sovereign. There were a number of reasons why I chose Lady Sovereign but the main one was an attempt to stop people still leaving comments on the Jentina article: it’s been eleven months people! Stop it already! I know most of you couldn’t spell if your life depended on it but I was harbouring a small hope that you knew what dates were, what they looked like, and in what approximate order they tended to appear.
So, on with this entry where I’ve promised to show Lady Sovereign pictures and reveal information about the diminutive singer never before revealed or even made up!
FACT: Lady Sovereign was raised by a family of magicians in London’s beautiful ghetto of Wembley. A fully paid-up member of the magic circle to this day, she uses many of the tricks she has been taught from an early age to distract and entertain people, the most notable being always standing behind a convex lens to appear larger than her true 2’7" frame.
FACT: Lady Sovereign and Jentina are locked in an eternal struggle of good versus evil, right versus wrong, shellsuits versus tracksuits, Wiley-Kit versus Wiley-Kat, Knight Rider versus Are You Being Served? They meet every Saturday night and wrestle in mud with razor blade-studded mittens but nobody is allowed to watch. I have a secret video though but it makes me feel funny when I watch it and I couldn’t possibly share it with a stranger.
FACT: Although she is not allowed to drive a car for security reasons (and because boxes strapped to the feet, while amusing in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, are frowned upon by Her Majesty’s traffic police), Lady Sovereign is permitted to take her fleet of dirigibles out whenever she wants. Last year she fell through a timehole above Harrods and helped to defend London from an air raid by the dastardly hun.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Basement Jaxx. She bought one of their t-shirts.
FACT: Quite often people will visit neOnbubble while trying to find the lyrics to "Sad Arse Strippa" or one of several hundred other spelling variants. You won’t find them on this site. I’m not sure if the song was ever released properly and it’s a shame if that’s the case because there simply aren’t enough tracks in the music charts with arse in the title. Roy Orbison’s 1977 success with "Breakin’ Up All Night Blue Arse" is a notable exception.
FACT: Lady Sovereign would receive more traffic to her website if she was called "Lady Sovrin". Seriously. How many of her fans do you think can actually spell her name? There’s a silent ‘g’ in there! A silent ‘g’! Kids these days have trouble spelling loud letters let alone silent ones.
FACT: The next song to be released as a single by Lady Sovereign will be "9 To 5". It is a reworking of the Dolly Parton song used in the film of the same name. Sov is a big fan of the country and western singer’s and would like to open her own themepark, just like Dolly, in the future. It will possibly be called This Is Lady Sovereign’s Themepark Please Come In but that’s just a working title.
FACT: Lady Sov’s favourite television channel is CNN. She gets all the ideas for her songs from watching the news headlines. Recent track "Random" was about the uprising and violent quelling of protests in Uzbekistan, whereas earlier track "Shhh!" was inspired by trying to watch the stock exchange ticker scroll along the bottom while an anchorman talked about farming subsidies for Argentinian gauchos.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Dizzee Rascal. He mistook her for a footstool.
FACT: It’s very difficult for Lady Sovereign to go out in public without being mobbed or asked for an autograph or asked if she wants to buy some lighters, three for a pound. Subsequently, she spends most of her time in a hole under her mum’s house. She is fed through a straw and allowed one magazine a week but no more otherwise she gets overexcited and it’s impossible to get her to sleep.
FACT: Her best experience while touring occurred last year backstage at a festival when she spotted Justin Timberlake and Donny Osmond playing a table tennis doubles match against N.W.A.’s Eazy-E and Paris Hilton. Eazy’s death in 1995 lends credence to the theory that she was standing too close to the freshly-painted Oasis enclosure at the time.
FACT: There is quite possibly a wealth of information about the star and her fans on the Lady Sovereign Forum but you will need better eyesight than me to be able to read any of it. It hurts! Make the pain stop!
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported D12. She waved a placard proclaiming their innocence in the bombing of a group of nuns that took place in China.
FACT: Many people will probably be looking for new pictures of Lady Sovereign when they visit this page and will be disappointed that there is nothing of value here; I’m sorry but that’s pretty much the point of this site. I have no doubt that many understandable perverts will be after nude photos of the singer too. To all these people I can only apologise this far into the article too safe in the knowledge none of you are probably reading it.
FACT: To get her distinctive singing style Lady Sovereign spent six months living with zebras in a zoo in El Salvador. She later claimed that she had been kidnapped and held for ransom by La Hachaduran freedom fighters but this was just to earn street cred. Really, she just wanted to sing like the zebras do.
FACT: Mike Skinner of The Streets is reputedly a fan of Lady Sovereign. He has photos of her all over the back of his toilet door. And that’s not all he has on the back of his toilet door if you know what I mean! Huh?! Huh?! He also has a coat hook and a handle that, when turned, opens the door and allows him to leave.
FACT: Lady Sovereign has supported Obie Trice. She comforted him after the death of his woodlouse Bernard.
April 4, 2006
i fink da sov iz tite n i onlii nown abou her 4 like 1 month i liv in australia bi da waiz so g daii 2 all yaz i heard about ladii sov from a frend big up ta da sov yea
April 9, 2006
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big up north london youths lady sovs 4 life
April 10, 2006
lady SOV is fukin ace!!!!!!!!
hu eva dunt fink so needs a fukin slaaaaap
no need 2 dis is there she’d fukin twat ne ov ya’s init!!
LADY SOV iz da best!!!
April 10, 2006
Look latest Ladiiiii Sov biscuit cut at Jay Zeees studio
Don’ call mi fick
cuz I’m wic
ad
ina cheeky kina way
der ….
erm
oh ah
duh
there follows a squeaky kin o’ voice on a cod rap wiv loads o crap lyrics referring to midget and always ending wiv the line ‘ina cheeky kina way’
Oh dear Jay Z edited it out n put in his own lyrics jus as well innit!
April 19, 2006
Raw raw raw rip it raw BAREBACK BAREHEAD RAW!
April 21, 2006
i fink lady sov it talented to fuck trust! u dnt see many gals doin wot shes doin i fuckin luv her songs n hope she carrys on doin em repsect! x x rosie x x mwahx x x
April 24, 2006
erm scuse me all u rude ppl.. u fink u a no it all yesh, well i no all da lyrics to the batttle.. n that is impressive coz they spit for lyk 8 mins no lies i will even close ma eyes turn around wit ma bak facin ure face swich place spit ma lyrisc in ya face like mace.. u dnt wana fuk wit r side fooooool.. lol so yehhh i am simply the best:D XxXAmieXxX AKA
Lil Sov init bruv n bruv-ette’s.
June 5, 2006
yer BURN ALL U HATERS!!! da only reason ur hatin is coz u cnt b her n dat jus pisses u off don it!!!!
dnt hate her coz u cnt b her!!!
rahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
June 5, 2006
sov i fink ur great n lyk all ya tunez specially cheeky!!
June 9, 2006
June 10, 2006
i thing you music i sexy but thing i like is lsning to i you are a loverly
babe and i thing what you go in your heart is love my names matt i am 16 teen and i you i thing are a could mc
June 13, 2006
Yo how yall doin?
Get ready 4 me im releasin an alb im still workin on it. I really hope yall enjoy it. Im glad ive proved people wrong dat i can do it all u young teenz out dere keep ya chin up n u can do w/e u set ya mind 2. Im only 15 and im gnna be big yall wotch out 4 me 😉
June 13, 2006
sov is syyyyyyyyyyyyyyyk!!!!!! she a heavy mc n iz well pretty n dat 1 person dat sed she dnt hav 2 tek all ov her clothes to get noticed iz ryt cuz she is syk da way she iz!!!! x1x NUFF LUV! x1x
June 16, 2006
Wow man I mean Come on England !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 23, 2006
i think lady sovrin is the worst rapper in the world i’m 12 and i can rap better than that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 24, 2006
I like her. A lot. I wish I was her.
June 28, 2006
Roll over Lady Sovereign
Tell Jentina the news
Theres a cracking little record
I want my jockey to play.
Roll over Lady Sovereign,
I gotta hear it again today.
You know, Lily Allen’s ‘Smiling’
And the jukebox blows a fuse
etc
http://videos.antville.org/stories/1407135/
Sorry for the plagiarism Mr Berry
July 6, 2006
never agen am i drinkin lambrini gawd av fort dat so meni tymes gud 1 lady sov ur minted 2 fook u lil chavette
July 7, 2006
Iz dat rich 2 fook, or perfect 2 fook? m8
July 8, 2006
im frm sheffield/england i do sum rapin wid ma m8ts im 5.2 n i think it it wud b well good 2 rap wid her i been rappin since i was lil grl.so if lady sov reedz this ma addiz kenny.redi@hotmail.com
July 9, 2006
i think your pic. is realy good!
July 9, 2006
i tink your so preety and you should do more asin pagents for your self and others!
July 10, 2006
Well i hate girls lyk Lady Soverign because they think they are just black the way she sings n tht if she done the way she does wiv out tryin tio be black she wud sound alot betta !!!
July 10, 2006
LADY SOV AM YA BIGGEST FAN ALL DEM PPL H8IN U JUZ JEALOUS CUZ YA BEST GYAL MC EVAA!!!! TAKE CARE GYAL XXXX
July 13, 2006
Ya’ll Dissin.. Ya’ll Dnt Even No D Gurl! Ya Get Me.. She Is D Baddest Gyal Mc Rwnd.. Ya’ll Dnt Get Dis.. Bck Up Wiv Al Yur Harsh Comments Init.. Nuff Luv x.x.x
July 23, 2006
REAL TALK- SHE SICK RIGH- SHE AINT GONNA WIN OVER THA TRUE HIP-HOP CROWD!!
YEAH YEAH YEAH, SHE’LL HAVE MILLS, WHO CARES- BUT IT’S BOUT THA MUSIC- SHE STILL A WHITE GIRL WHO RAPS!!!!!
BE REAL!!!!!!!
August 3, 2006
lv ur music!! XxX 1 of ur biggest fans – hope 2 meet u some day!
August 9, 2006
u r crap dont even know how u became famous.
August 9, 2006
she is a chav that makes rap look back. she acts black and cant even rap. dont know how she became famous
August 12, 2006
ye hold it down gurl aint no ladeez reprezentin like lady s keep it tight man an reprezent 4 us peepz wurkin dat 9 – 5 get me!
August 12, 2006
Luk iif u dont effin like her bruv dun f search er on d internet she dun ask u 2 listen 2 her tunes dus she u effin bunch of Mugzzzzzzzz!
fek Haytorzz! Lady sov tu double oh six an beyond Brap!!!!!!
August 12, 2006
y the fook u on a syt bout her thn??
fook off ur nt wanted here haytor
go get a lyf
August 17, 2006
What is Lady Sovs real name?
August 18, 2006
Louise Harman wich iz y she probably called hersel’ ladie Sov innit
PS learn 2 surf t’internet
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Sovereign
or u cudda just Googled
August 19, 2006
I love Sov, can’t get her out of my head. Everyone thats bagging her, tell where’s your record deals?
August 22, 2006
Lady Sovereign’s album is one of the best I’ve heard this year. It’s so diverse and yet it feels like an album. Better than most rap debuts I’ve heard.
August 23, 2006
i love lady sovereign
August 23, 2006
hmmm…. r dey producing it in braille now den? coz i’ve jus’ dun an, experiment in the dark n’ I can’t tell iv da 12" I’m holdin’ iz a single or an album I’ll try a cd … nope sorry can’t tell …Oh crumbs! even worse I can’t tell iv its Jentina or Sov
September 3, 2006
lady sovereign is ddeeeeeppp jentina’s a p.i.k.e.y. ppllzzz lady sovereign come dwn to Luton and com and rap in ma school halyard high school
September 3, 2006
hey lady sovereign add ma msn addy safe
September 6, 2006
New feature added to comments today (6th September 2006)
Type a YouTube URL in the comments and it gets automatically embedded as the video. Like this:
October 21, 2006
lady sovereign is so awesome and i love her songs lots!!
luv ya lady sovereign! u rox my sox!!!
October 27, 2006
i love ya s.o.v
Bri
October 27, 2006
You rock ! I luv ya!!
your the best!!!!
don’t worry bout them haters!!!
Your better them!!!!!
love ya!!!#1
October 29, 2006
Lady Sovereign is #1 in the US TRL!
November 15, 2006
whats sov real name ???????????
November 15, 2006
never mind
November 30, 2006
Lady Sovereigns real name is Louise Amanda Harman.
December 1, 2006
hey lady soverign I have trouble controlling my bowels. I post here because it makes me feel big but I am inadequate all over . ill give ya £200. i live Luton LU4. with my mummy. and daddy. sometimes daddy lets me play mummy
my IP address is 82.3.1.57 and I live in a home with NTL cable! yay me!
December 3, 2006
Obviously England has pathetic wiggers on their side of the pond too. And to those of you "Brits" that dont know what that is, it’s a white person who tries to talk and act like an "urban black".
Simply, SHE SUCKS and she’s annoying as hell. I hope that this is not the best "hip hop" artist that England can produce because that would be sad. And I HATE to dis the term "hip hop" when classifying this trash.